The best 5 books I read last year

The joy and benefit of reading cannot be overestimated. It’s the best way to grow intellectually and stay mentally viable. All it takes is time, and it’s time well spent.

Consider these avid readers. If they find the time to read, so can we.

  • Nike founder Phil Knight so reveres his library that in it you have to take off your shoes and bow.
  • Oprah Winfrey credits books with much of her success: “Books were my path to personal freedom.”
  • Warren Buffett spends five to six hours a day reading five newspapers and 500 pages of corporate reports.
  • Bill Gates reads 50 books a year.
  • Mark Zuckerberg aimed to read at least one book every two weeks.
  • Elon Musk grew up reading two books a day, according to his brother.
  • Mark Cuban reads for more than three hours every day.
  • Arthur Blank, a cofounder of Home Depot, reads two hours a day.
  • Billionaire entrepreneur David Rubenstein reads six books a week.
  • Dan Gilbert, the self-made billionaire who owns the Cleveland Cavaliers, reads for one to two hours a day. [Data from Michael Simmons, The 5-hour Rule, Business Insider, December 11, 2019]

If you’re not in the habit of reading books, start by reading just one good book a month.

My goal is to read a book a week. Here’s what I read in 2019. At the end of the list I give my top five books of the year.

The numbers in brackets represent how I rate each book on a scale from 1 (not good) to 10 (exceptional).

January

  1. Brief Answers to the Big Questions – Stephen Hawking – 2018, 218 pages [8] — An interesting book by an incredible man. Gives a brief update on what science says about the big issues.
  2. Past Tense – Lee Child – 2018, 382 pages [7] – I allow myself 3-4 trivial novels per year. Pure entertainment; nothing much to learn, but a good read.
  3. The Greatest Show on Earth – Richard Dawkins, 2009, 437 pages [7.5] – Dawkins is the definitive voice on evolution. Regardless of your conviction regarding this topic, this is a fascinating read. 
  4. Interior States – Meghan O’Gieblyn – 2018, 221 pages [6.5] – Collection of essays on various topics. The title is a double entendre referring to O’Gieblyn’s personal mental and emotional states and the fact that she was raised in the mid-West. 
  5. Factfulness – Hans Rosling – 2018, 297 pages [9] – Very readable; almost entertaining. Rosling lists ten reasons why humans often misunderstand facts. 

February

  1. Launch – Jeff Walker – 2014, 180 pages [6] – Rather cheesy book on online marketing strategy.
  2. Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming – Stephen LaBerge – 1990, 255 pages [7] – Lucid dreaming is when you’re having a dream and you realize it’s a dream. This is a good, scientific approach to this topic. 
  3. Give and Take – Why helping others drives our success – Adam Grant – 2013, 240 pages [7] – Good thoughts on the value of being generous. I tried to read this book digitally and didn’t enjoy the experience. I’m going back to physical books. 
  4. The Sherlockian – Graham Moore, 2010, 350 pages [8] – If you like reading Sherlock Holmes, you’ll enjoy this book. Moore maintains two stories—one takes place in 1900, the other in 2010. 
  5. Math Squared – 100 Concepts You Should Know – Freiberger and Thomas, 248 pages [7.5] – A helpful summary of 100 major math principles.
  6. The Bridge of Reason – Ten Steps to See God – Joshua Rasmussen, 2018, 102 pages [6.5] – Written for philosophers, I wasn’t able to follow the conversation.
  7. More or Less – Choosing a Lifestyle of Excessive Generosity – Jeff Shinabarger, 2013, 260 pages [6.5] – Not many new thoughts in this book.  
  8. Nothing to Envy – Ordinary Lives in North Korea – Barbara Demick – 2015, 303 pages [9] – An interesting history of the enigma that is North Korea.

March

  1. Inside of a Dog – What Dogs See, Smell, and Know – Alexandra Horowitz, 2009, 301 pages [8] – A must read for everyone who owns a dog. A scientific but readable treatise on canines. 
  2. Religion, Politics, and the Modern West – Mark Lilla, 2007, 219 pages [7] – An interesting discussion of religion and politics. 
  3. Forged in Crisis – The Power of Courageous Leadership in Turbulent Times – Nancy Koehn, 2017, 448 pages [9] – Biography of Shackleton, Lincoln, Douglass, Bonhoeffer and Carson. Well written and informative. 

April

  1. Zen in the Art of Archery – Eugen Herrigel, 1953, 81 pages [5] – Japanese archery is an art-form that takes decades to master. I found the Zen aspect of this book interesting but hard to grasp, perhaps because I’m a Westerner. 
  2. Your Brain – 100 things you never knew – National Geographic, 2019, 125 pages [8] – Terrific, succinct information about the center of everyone’s universe. 
  3. Dead on Arrival – Matt Richtel, 2017, 442 pages (paperback) [5] – Typical modern thriller, just not worth the time it took to read it.
  4. The Illusion of Knowledge – Stoman and Fernbach, 2017, 265 pages [9] – Written by scientists but in layman’s language. Terrific thoughts about the fact that collaborative intelligence is always better than individual intelligence.
  5. Time in History – G.J. Whitrow – 1988, 186 pages [6.5] – Densely written, I could not help but skim some of the pages, but interesting nevertheless. It is the history of the concept of time.

May

  1. Good Beyond Evil – Ordinary People in Extraordinary Times, Eva Gossman, 2002, 134 pages [8.5] – Gossman survived the Holocaust because of the kindness of six people; she tells the story in an engaging way. 
  2. The Search for God and Guinness—A Biography of the Beer That Changed the World, Stephen Mansfield, 2009, 270 pages [8.5] – A terrific book on a fascinating subject. I was interested to read that Martin Luther, John Calvin, John Wesley, George Whitfield, and Jonathan Edwards were all beer aficionados.

June 

  1. The Storm on Our Shores; One Island, Two Soldiers, and the Forgotten Battle of WW2 – Mark Obmascik, 2019, 231 pages [8.5] – Not since the battle of 1812 had America ceded land to an enemy, but in WW2 the small Alaskan island of Attu was captured by the Japanese. This book tells the story of that battle from the perspective of a Japanese surgeon and an American soldier.
  2. The Fire Next Time – James Baldwin, 1962, 106 pages [6.5] – Written at the height of the Civil rights movement, it offers keen insight into the challenges of race inequalities. 
  3. The Defining Decade – Why your twenties matter and how to make the most of them now – Meg Jay, 2012, 201 pages [9] – Everyone ages 15-30 should read this book, but so should people ages 30-70. Truly, there’s something for everyone in this book.
  4. Option B – Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant, 2017, 176 pages [9] – Deals with developing resiliency and life after tragedy. 
  5. Meditations – Marcus Aurelius (born 121 A.D.), translation by Gregory Hays, 170 pages [7] – A collection of his wise sayings. It’s hard to digest all of this information. Like reading the book of Proverbs in one setting. 

July

  1. Moonwalking With Einstein – The Art and Science of Remembering Everything – Joshua Foer, 271 pages, 2011 [9] – As a journalist, Joshua Foer covered the USA Memory Championships, then decided that he would enter the next year’s contest, and he won.
  2. Letters To A Young Contrarian – Christopher Hitchens, 141 pages, 2001 [7] – Hitchens writes to the next generation of the importance of freethinking and disagreement. 
  3. I Am Pilgrim – Terry Hayes, 641 pages, 2014 [8] – A spy-thriller with multiple plots. 
  4. Powerful – Patti McCord, 150 pages, 2017 [8] – McCord was director of HR for Netflix. She posits some radical but good thoughts for organizations.

August

  1. Leading Lives That Matter – What We Should Do and Who We Should Be – compiled by Schwehn and Bass, 539 pages, 2008 [7] – Anthology on work and vocation with contributions from Schweitzer, T. Roosevelt, Homer, and many others. 
  2. The Death of Ivan Ilych – Leo Tolstoy – translated by Maude, 1895 [8] – A discourse on mortality, death, and meaning in life.  
  3. The Power of Habits—Start good ones, break bad ones, change your life – Special Time Edition – 94 pages, 2019 [6] – A series of 16 short, easy to read articles.

September

  1. The Darwin Conspiracy – John Darnton, 303 pages, 2015 [7] – Fascinating fiction that toggles between Darwin’s journey on the Beagle and a modern-day historian. 
  2. Why Everything You Know About Soccer Is Wrong – The Numbers Game – Chris Anderson and David Sally, 349 pages, 2013 [7] – I thought the book would be more about numbers than soccer, but I was wrong. Since I’m not a big sports fan, I didn’t enjoy this book as much as a soccer fan would. 
  3. The Cure for Stupidity – Using Brain Science to Explain Irrational Behavior at Work – Eric Bailey, 185 pages, 2019 [5] – Disjointed thoughts and hard to follow. 

October

  1. The Fifth Risk – Michael Lewis, 209 pages, 2018 [7] – The Fifth Risk is the mismanagement of government programs. This book will inform you and scare you. 
  2. The Undoing Project – Michael Lewis, 352 pages, 2017 [9.5] – The story of the collaboration between two of the top psychologists of our generation: Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman. 

November

  1. The Seasons of a Man’s Life, Daniel Levinson, 340 pages, 1978 [7] – Though written 41 years ago, the book still accurately addresses the stages of a man’s life. But not much is said about later years. 

December

  1. The Joy of Efficiency – How to live and work better with less, Paul Westbrook, 188 pages, 2019 [7] – My favorite chapters were on how to build an energy efficient house.
  2. Neanderthal, John Darnton, 368 pages, 1996 [6.5] – Fictional story of discovering a secluded tribe of Homo sapiens neanderthalensis. 
  3. Mind In Motion, Barbara Tversky, 288 pages, 2019 [7] – Brilliant thoughts; a bit scattered.
  4. Into the Raging Sea, Rachel Slade, 373 pages, 2018 [8.5] – A fascinating account of the most significant U.S. maritime ship wreck since W.W. 2 – the sinking of the container ship, El Faro, on its last trip to Puerto Rico. 

Five best books I read in 2019

PsychologyThe Undoing Project – Michael Lewis, 352 pages, 2017 [9.5] – The story of the collaboration between two of the top psychologists of our generation: Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman. 

Self-helpMoonwalking With Einstein – The Art and Science of Remembering Everything – Joshua Foer, 271 pages, 2011 [9] – As a journalist, Joshua Foer covered the USA Memory Championships, then decided that he would enter the next year’s contest, and he won.

HistoryForged in Crisis – The Power of Courageous Leadership in Turbulent Times – Nancy Koehn, 2017, 448 pages [9] – Biography of Shackleton, Lincoln, Douglass, Bonhoeffer and Carson. Well written, informative, and inspiring. 

FictionThe Sherlockian – Graham Moore, 2010, 350 pages [8] – If you like reading Sherlock Holmes, you’ll enjoy this book. Moore toggles back and forth between two stories—one takes place in 1900, the other in 2010.

Current eventsNothing to Envy – Ordinary Lives in North Korea – Barbara Demick – 2015, 303 pages [9] – An interesting history of the enigma that is North Korea.

Be devoted to one another

Thirty-six times in the New Testament we see a recurring word pattern—an action verb followed by the words one another. In English grammar this phrase is called a reciprocal pronoun—I am to act a certain way toward you and you should act the same way toward me. For instance, we’re told to encourage one another, accept one another, comfort one another, honor one another (and 32 other phrases).

In the book I wrote on these actions (Love One Another: 20 Practical Lessons) I suggested that all of us should give all the one anothers to all people at all times. In short, give all to all.

  • These phrases are commands for us to obey; we can’t opt out and choose not to participate.
  • I shouldn’t pick and choose which of the one anothers I’ll give (for instance: I’ll encourage people but not accept them).
  • I shouldn’t show favoritism as to whom I give them to (for instance: I’ll encourage some people but not others).
  • I should willingly dispense these acts of grace all the time (for instance, I shouldn’t have the attitude: “I’ll give these when I’m feeling good but not when I’m upset.” 

But there is one exception to the “give all to all” guideline; there is one “one another” that can be sparingly dispensed: “Be devoted to one another” (Romans 12:10).

The Greek word for “devotion” is philostorgos, which means “to cherish one’s kindred, to be fond of, to be fraternal toward others, tenderly loving, and tenderly affectionate.” Devotion implies a deep level of commitment. It is, perhaps, the only One Another that we can ration out.

Through the years, I have developed a deep sense of devotion to certain individuals, but not to everyone. My highest devotion is to my wife, children, and grandchildren. Even among my friends, I am more devoted to some than others. 

Jesus did the same. He had a small group of people he was deeply devoted to: his twelve disciples. Among the twelve, there were three men in whom he confided the most: Peter, James, and John. Some would even suggest he was closest to John. He didn’t love these three men more than the others, but he did spend more time with them, allowing them to know him in ways the others didn’t. They were invited to be with Christ on the Mount of Transfiguration, perhaps the highlight of his earthly ministry, and in the Garden of Gethsemane, arguably the lowest point in his life. Jesus didn’t have favorites, but he did have intimates. He loved the world, taught thousands, but was devoted to a few.

Likewise, it’s okay for us to be selective as to whom we’re devoted to. On a practical level, it would be impossible for us to express devotion to the hundreds of people we’re acquainted with. A sense of devotion can be reserved for a few. 

I am devoted to my family. I’ve jokingly told my wife, “If you ever leave me, I’m going with you.” I’m devoted to my  two daughters; through life’s ups and downs, I’ll be their faithful father. I’m devoted to my son-in-law and his daughter. Five years ago, my grandson entered my scope of devotion. As a leader, I’m devoted to members of my team. I have hundreds of good friends and feel devoted to some but not all of them. 

Devotion is expressed in these terms:

  • Value — “I highly value you; you are important to me.”
  • Commitment — “I am committed to you; I pledge to be lovingly involved in your life.”
  • Long-term commitment — “I’m in this relationship for the long haul. I’ll walk with you through good times and bad. We’re friends for life.”
  • Priority — “My life, like yours, is multifaceted. However, you are a priority to me.
  • Meeting needs — “I am aware of your physical and emotional needs and want to be a part of meeting those needs.”
  • Faithfulness — “Relationally, I’m going to bind myself to you. I hope my deep commitment will make you feel secure.”
  • Vulnerable communication — “I am willing to share with you the deep issues of my life, and you can trust me with the deep concerns of your life. I want to know you in a deep, intimate way.”
  • Tenderness — “You are very dear to me.”
  • Consistency — “You can count on me to be a consistent source of love and care.”
  • Love, even unto death — “I would give my life for you.”

Question: to whom are you devoted? As suggested by the previous list, true devotion requires enormous commitment; have you made such a commitment to a few people? 

Soon after Jack Benny died, George Burns was interviewed on TV. “Jack and I had a wonderful friendship for fifty-five years,” Burns said. “Jack never walked out on me when I sang a song, and I never walked out on him when he played the violin. We laughed together, we played together, we worked together, and we ate together. I suppose that for many of those years we talked every single day.”

In a sweet and sincere way, George Gurns and Jack Benny were devoted to each other.

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The challenge of present bias 

In her book The Defining Decade, psychologist Meg Jay describes an experiment in which researcher Laura Carstensen worked with twenty-year-olds to help them understand the importance of saving for retirement.

“Carstensen used virtual reality to help the subjects imagine their future selves. In one condition of her experiment, 25 subjects entered an immersive virtual reality environment and, in a virtual mirror, they saw digital representations of their current selves. In the other condition, 25 subjects entered the same virtual reality environment, but instead of seeing their current digital selves in the mirror, they saw an age-morphed version of their future selves. This second group saw what they will look like when they are old. 

“After the subjects emerged from the virtual experiment, they were told to allocate money toward a hypothetical retirement savings account. The subjects who had seen their current selves in the mirror set aside payments averaging $73.90. Those who saw their future selves set aside more than twice that amount, payments averaging $178.10” [page 190].

This experiment speaks to a problem that psychologists call present bias. We inordinately favor the present and discount the future. We seldom try to imagine and give weight to, things that will happen in the future. It’s a human tendency that fuels addiction, procrastination, impatience, immediate gratification, poor planning, and other problems. We tend to grab immediate rewards and avoid immediate costs such that our future well-being is jeopardized.

  • We spend most of our income instead of saving for retirement. [78 percent of Americans say they’re “extremely” or “somewhat” concerned about not having enough money for retirement.]
  • While addictions may give us immediate gratification, we discount their long-term effect on our lives and relationships.
  • Our eating habits are not influenced by a regard for our future health.

In Carstensen’s experiment she helped young adults visualize the fact that one day they would be elderly, and that influenced their current decisions. We should try to replicate that same exercise in our own lives. Take time to reflect on the final decades of your life (average life expectancy for Americans is 78.6 years) and consider how your current lifestyle and decisions will adversely or beneficially impact your future.

“Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.” Alan Lakein

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Don’t underestimate how difficult it is to communicate well

Good communication is invaluable in all relationships and organizations. Without it, misunderstanding, friction, confusion, and passivity run amuck.

A junior high science teacher decided to use his class as an opportunity to persuade his students to the benefits of abstinence. He put water in one beaker and 80 proof alcohol in another. Then he dropped an earthworm in each beaker. The worm in the water swam around and crawled up the side. The earthworm placed in the alcohol curled up and sank to the bottom. Confident in his results, the teacher asked, “Students, what does this teach us about consuming alcohol?” One student replied, “It teaches me that if you drink alcohol, you’ll never get worms.”

Good communication is essential in both personal relationships and in organizations, but it is very difficult and hard to assess. We should always assume that we’re failing at it. 

Here are two studies that demonstrate the disparity between perceived and actual competence in communicating.

In 1990, Elizabeth Newton earned a Ph.D. in psychology at Stanford by studying a simple game in which she assigned people to one of two roles: “tappers” and “listeners.” Tappers were given a list of twenty-five well-known songs, such as “Happy Birthday to You” and “The Star Spangled Banner.” Each tapper was asked to tap out the rhythm to a listener (by knocking on a table). The listener’s job was to guess the song, based on the rhythm being tapped. The listener’s job in this game is quite difficult. Over the course of Newton’s experiment, 120 songs were tapped out. Listeners guessed only 2.5 percent of the songs: 3 out of 120.  

But here’s what made the result worthy of a dissertation in psychology. Before the listeners guessed the name of the song, Newton asked the tappers to predict the odds that the listeners would guess correctly. They predicted that the odds were 50 percent. The tappers got their message across 1 time in 40, but they thought they were getting their message across 1 time in 2. Why? When a tapper taps, she is hearing the song in her head. Tappers are flabbergasted at how hard it is for the listeners to hear what the tapper hears. Never underestimate how difficult it is to communicate. [Heil, Parker, and Tate, Leadership and the Customer Revolution]

In their book The Leader’s Voice, Clark and Clarkson wrote, “The biggest problem with leadership communication is the illusion that it has occurred. A 2002 survey of 1,104 business professionals showed that while 86% of their leaders feel that they are great communicators, only 17% believe their leaders are, indeed, effective communicators.” 

They identify four fatal assumptions that leaders make:

  1. Constituents understand what was communicated.
  2. Constituents agree with what was communicated.
  3. Constituents care about what was communicated.
  4. Constituents will take appropriate action.

Perhaps the worst kind of miscommunication is when two parties finish a conversation and both think they understand each other but they don’t.

One of the most difficult challenges in communication is to transfer information from your mind into someone else’s mind without the loss of meaning or subtleties. So the next time you try to communicate with people, just assume they’re not getting your message, or at best, they’re only getting a small percentage of what you’re trying to communicate. It’s that hard.

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