Don McMinn

I’m teaching my grandson how to have a good work ethic. There are many aspects to consider; recently we talked about volunteering to do hard tasks. Some jobs are easy, others are difficult; when given a choice, choose those that are challenging. Most people avoid them.

You earn a good reputation by volunteering to do hard things and doing them well. Also, it’s usually the right and noble thing to do.

Sometimes it involves doing simple but unpleasant tasks.

• • • When my year-old granddaughter went ballistic in a restaurant, I volunteered to skip my meal and babysit her.
    • Boxes—heavy and light—needed to be moved. I went for the heavy ones.

Sometimes it means committing to complicated challenges.

• • • Starting a graduate degree later in life.
    • Working a second job to get out of debt.
    • Becoming the caretaker for an invalid friend.

Some people only do easy things; they stay in the path of least resistance. At work they do the minimum required to keep their jobs; they don’t want to be inconvenienced in life; they seldom volunteer for optional tasks. Don’t be like that.

Leap at the chance to do things that other people don’t want to do. When others hesitate, act. Volunteer to do things you’re not responsible for or required to do.

Potential benefits?

• • • You’ll garner a reputation for being an action-oriented, get-it-done person.
    • You’ll be a source of momentum and positive direction.
    • Difficult tasks develop strong “muscles”; you’ll grow in wisdom and ability.
    • You’ll benefit from the fact that accomplishing hard things is usually more rewarding than doing simple things.

I work with a man, I’ll call him Pete (because that’s his real name) who personifies this mentality. He’s eager to work, he’s low maintenance, he volunteers for extra assignments, and he does more than he’s paid to do. Thanks, Pete.

Hope is a vital resource for living in a challenging world. Without hope we can become discouraged and  end up in a quagmire of despair, depression, and passivity. So pursue, embrace, and benefit from hope. 

But understand the limits of hope. Hope is necessary but at times insufficient. The need for hope implies that something is off kilter, uncertain, and potentially harmful and that our future may be compromised. In which case a plan of action is needed. 

I should also mention that while hope needs a plan, a plan is also necessary but insufficient. It’s simply a strategy describing a better future. But you can have both hope and a plan without anything improving because a third element is needed: action. Peter Drucker once said, “Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.” [Here’s a post I wrote titled Have a Bias Toward Action.]

Two years into marriage, Mary and I had just bought our first house and had our first child when I lost my job. On day one of unemployment I was sitting on the back porch thinking of our uncertain future, praying and searching for hope. Before the day ended I devised a business plan for starting a power-washing business. Within a week I had purchased a truck, installed a power-washer in the bed, and was making sales calls. That small business kept us financially afloat for about a year until I could secure a permanent job in my field. Hope + a plan + action led us to a good place.

Without action, hope and plans are just wishful thinking.

I recently read a clever and insightful statement that is impacting my life. 

“You can worry if you want to. It will give you something to do. But there’s no benefit to it.”

I’ll add two variations:

• • • “You can be angry if you want to. It will give you something to do. But there’s no benefit to it.”
    • “You can judge others if you want to. It will give you something to do. But there’s no benefit to it.”

Not only is there no benefit in worrying, getting angry, and judging others, if left unchecked they can become toxic, metastasize, and corrupt our mind and emotions. 

The Bible clearly teaches: 

• • • Don’t worry about anything (Philippians 4:6).
    • Get rid of all anger (Ephesians 4:31).
    • Do not judge others (Matthew 7:1).

How do we guard against these poisonous thoughts? Try to recognize when they first appear in your mind, then immediately drop them and redirect your thoughts to a healthy subject. I recently wrote a post titled “Sometimes we just need to drop it.”

As soon as you sense worry, anger, or judgment creeping into your soul, drop it. Find something else to do that will be beneficial. Declutter your mind and you’ll live a happier and more productive life.

An important part of all close, intimate relationships is the mutual sharing of terms of endearment.

Terms of endearment are spoken words, often accompanied by body language, that communicate love, affection, appreciation, commitment, and value. These expressions don’t take a long time to convey, yet they are very impactful. Without them, a relationship can become stale, disconnected, or insecure.

I often approach my 10-year old grandson and say “Benjamin, you’re such a wonderful boy and I love you so much. I think about you throughout the day.” And then I kiss him on the forehead.

I’ll say to my wife, “Mary, I love so much, and I’m glad we have each other. You’re a wonderful wife, mother, and grandmother.” Followed by a warm embrace.

I’m quite sure my father loved me, but he never told me. And he never said things like, “Don, I’m proud of you. I love you very much”.  Also lacking were physical expressions – hugs, a pat on the back, a kiss on the forehead.

Examine your close relationships. Are moments of tender expression missing? Are you generous with sharing terms of endearment or are they few and far between? It’s never too late to change. It may feel awkward at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

If you’re in a leadership position, don’t neglect speaking words of affirmation and support to team members. Phrases like, “I really appreciate your hard work. You are so good at what you do. Your people skills are superb. I totally trust your judgment.” can be life-giving to people in your organization.

 Almost all human relationships can benefit from terms of endearment. They are also an important part of our relationship with God. He says to us, “I will never leave you or forsake you. I love you with an everlasting love. My future plans for you are all good.” We should reciprocate by expressing to Him our adoration and praise. You can create your own phrases or recite phrases from poets and lyricists. Hymns such as My Jesus I Love Thee, Fairest Lord Jesus, and Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee are replete with meaningful phrases. 

Let’s get good at this. I can’t think of any downside.