One of my favorite leadership mantras is: All of us are smarter than one of us. There’s wisdom in a multitude of counselors. Any idea, plan, or decision will be improved upon when we get multiple opinions. It’s good advice for leaders and it also applies to our personal lives.
As a leader I always try to follow this advice, but in my personal life I have failed miserably. I’ve made major career moves without seeking advice. On my own, I decided which colleges to attend and what to study. When Mary and I were considering marriage we didn’t ask for input. Recently, when I purchased a car, I didn’t seek counsel.
I’m not proud of my Lone Ranger approach to life and I’m trying to figure out why that has been my default setting. I suspect at least two reasons: in the early stages of my life I was emotionally alone, and, I am self-reliant and over-confident.
How about you—do you struggle with this issue?
The Quakers have a wonderful solution to this problem: the Clearness Committee. It is a well-structured approach to allowing others to have input into major decisions. This article by Parker Palmer—The Clearness Committee – A Communal Approach to Discernment—is worth the five minutes it takes to read.
Proverbs 11:14 teaches: “Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.” (NLT) Personalize this verse by substituting “a person” for “nation.” When making decisions, ask for help and advice. There’s no downside to doing so.
Perfect timing. Thanks for sharing.
Praying all is well with you!
Steve, it’s always nice to hear from you. I have fond memories of skiing on the lake in January, the Christmas Tree, Living Bible, etc. Take care. Don
Your post is, of course, full of wisdom and spot-on with its advice. The reason we struggle with asking for advice is that we fear hearing advice that points in a direction we don’t want to go. We want to marry who we want, attend the college that we want, and drive the car we want. Advice only tosses a wrench in the works. This is, as you said so well, utter folly. How essential we seek counsel. We don’t know what we don’t know.
Thanks, Wayne, for words of affirmation and your insight into why we resist advice from others. Our ego is always in the way. Take care. Thanks for our friendship. Don
It’s a good idea to have a personal board of directors
Don, I like that concept…a personal board of directors. Take care, Don.
Yes, but. . . I always need wise counsel but there are several caveats: 1) have the counselors been allowed into my life with more altruistic than ulterior motives, do they truly have my and my org.’ best interests at heart?, 2) has a clear path (as outlined in your Quaker article, many other acceptable variations and sequences) been established as to who will sift the opinions and data, and 3) with what or with whom does the ultimate decision making reside? An excellent source for this is Gary Yukl’s classic Leadership in Organizations, any edition.
Allan, as always, your thoughts contribute so well to the conversation. I’ll check into the Yuki book. I hope you’re enjoying retirement. Don
Wow! True objectivity is rare these days.
Thanks for taking the time to respond. Objectivity is a good thing. Take care, Don.