I’ve been to India four times. India has been described as a “shock to the senses”—what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel often seems otherworldly.
It’s difficult to grasp how populous the country is. One of my hosts tried to explain by saying: “There are more honor students (top 10% of the class) in India than there are students in America, simply because there are so many high school students in India.”
On the first day of my first trip to India, my host warned me: “Don, while in New Delhi, you will probably be approached by a woman carrying a baby. She will try to engage with you, show you a beautiful infant, and then she will offer to let you hold the baby. Do not take the baby in your arms because the woman will walk away and the baby will be yours. Then you’ll have to find an orphanage to take it, or you’ll have to place the baby down on the sidewalk and walk away (children are sometimes abandoned on the streets by desperate mothers). Whatever you do, don’t pick up the baby.”
I’ve thought of that story often. The moral of the anecdote is: think carefully before you get involved in, or become responsible for, something that is not your responsibility and something that may incumber you for a long time. It may be a kind and generous act that you’re contemplating, but think carefully before committing.
Sometimes you may be called upon to “pick up the baby” because it is your baby—for instance, accepting responsibility for a family member. But sometimes the “baby” may be a friend, employee, or neighbor, in which case you do have a choice whether or not to get involved. If you do pick it up, know when and how to put it down.
Leaders:
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- Think carefully before taking a position with an organization that is spiraling downward. You may be “picking up” something you’ll later wish you hadn’t.
- When selecting team members, go slow and be sure; it’s easy to hire but hard to fire. When selecting team members don’t be naive or unduly empathetic toward questionable candidates. Don’t pick up the baby.
Individually:
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- Be wise and vigilant before committing to primary relationships (spouse, having children) because they’re hard to disengage from.
- If you have “picked up a baby” consider if and how you can “put it down.”
This is a difficult topic.
Difficult topic, Indeed…more difficult for believers because we are always thinking “what would Jesus do?”…walk away, or pick up the baby? …especially where compassion is involved.
In the secular world, not so difficult, and your advice is worthy. Think twice and look down the road before you pick up the baby.
Thanks, Neil, for bringing balance to this topic. I don’t imagine that Jesus ever said no to a legitimate need. Don
That’s wise advice! Thankfully you were made aware of this local practice and it shows that we need to understand something of the culture and customs when we travel abroad. My husband didn’t understand that just having the words for “two coffees” would not guarantee good service in a cafe abroad and might mean you were not allowed to use the bathroom!
Your point is well made. Even the Good Samaritan was wise in his charity. He didn’t take the man home and feel responsible for ever. He got him to safety and left him in the hands of the innkeeper.
He did not “adopt the baby”.
Best wishes
Angela
Thanks, Angela, for reminding me of the Good Samaritan. He was prudent. I remember the first time I learned that refills on soda drinks are not complimentary in Europe. My family ran up quite the tab. Take care.
Hey Don! I’m sorry, but this one
made me giggle inappropriately as we have said that this new kidney of Stan’s has been like having a new baby in the house. It requires a lot of upkeep. We even call it the kidney baby! We are very thankful that we picked this baby up though. 🤗
Barbara, I’m so glad that Stan has a new kidney (baby). It has brought new hope and joy…just like a new baby. Don
Before you either pick the baby up or look at it you should first look for the warning signs (red flags). By doing that simple thing first, it could save you the heartache of picking up the baby. However, there is a lesson you have to learn by picking up that baby and it is God’s plan.
Nelson, you’re writing your response onboard the Marina, correct? I hope you and Janet are well and enjoying your trip.
Don, this is a great article!
Thanks, Jeff, for kind words. Where in the world are you today? I love that you enjoy travel.
THIS is a very good lesson for ALL of us…young or old…something that needs to be taught as soon as children can comprehend
the issue—
Thanks, Gail, for taking the time to respond. Take care, Don.