At my work at the church, we always pursue excellence, but sometimes we make mistakes. There was a typo on one of the worship slides; I brought the choir in a measure early; we missed a deadline. When boo-boos happen we thoughtfully say, “We made a mistake, but no one died.” The phrase helps put things into proper perspective.
There are environments in which mistakes can be fatal: emergency rooms, airplane flights, military engagements. But for most of us, our mistakes are less impactful and certainly not fatal.
Don’t use this phrase as an excuse for mistakes and don’t be dismissive or nonchalant about failures. Own up to your mistakes, analyze them, and learn from them. But don’t exaggerate their impact, shame the person responsible, or carve the incident in tablets of stone. Let it pass.
Extend this grace and generosity to yourself. When you mess up, don’t reach for the proverbial hammer and pound your head. Learn all you can, then drop it and move on.
Don’t be cavalier about mistakes but don’t overreact—unless someone died.
Although I have used this phrase often when silly mistakes have been made, we still have to consider the less obvious hurts that can cause people to lose their faith or feel unvalued in their church or community. In the UK, an Inspector Calls has been a regular standard text for High School students. It makes the reader think about their thoughtless acts which affected the life of a young woman nobody valued.
It’s good to have trusted friends who can challenge us over our behaviour without condemning.
I recently shared a deep hurt with my home group and none of them had realised the results of their comments.
Anyone of them would be insignificant on their own but combined they had power.
Thanks, Angela, for sharing your thoughts. I ordered a copy of An Inspector Calls. You’re correct, we must not minimize the impact our words and deeds have on others; we would never want to say or imply “What I did hurt you, but…you didn’t die.” There’s always a balance to seek.