Author: Don McMinn

One of my favorite leadership mantras is: All of us are smarter than one of us. There’s wisdom in a multitude of counselors. Any idea, plan, or decision will be improved upon when we get multiple opinions. It’s good advice for leaders and it also applies to our personal lives. 

As a leader, I always try to follow this advice, but in my personal life I have failed miserably. I’ve made major career moves without seeking advice. On my own, I decided which colleges to attend and what to study. When Mary and I were considering marriage we didn’t ask for input. I’m not proud of my Lone Ranger approach to life and I’m trying to figure out why that has been my default setting. I suspect at least two reasons. In the early stages of my life I was emotionally alone, and I am self-reliant and over-confident. 

How about you—do you struggle with this issue?

The Quakers have a wonderful solution to this problem: the Clearness Committee. They have a well-structured approach to allowing others to have input into major decisions. This article by Parker Palmer, “The Clearness Committee: A Communal Approach to Discernment,” is worth the five minutes it takes to read.

Proverbs 11:14 teaches: “Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers” (NLT). Personalize this verse by substituting “a person” for “a nation.” When making decisions, ask for advice. There’s no downside to doing so. 

In a now-famous article titled “Management Time: Who’s Got the Monkey?” (Harvard Business Review, November, 1974), authors Oncken and Wass created a clever and memorable illustration on how a person can unwittingly accept responsibility for activities that should be handled by others.

In the illustration, the “monkey” is simply the next move. It is not the problem, or the project, or the goal, or the desired result; it is the next step.

Read the three scenarios below and picture a monkey leaping from the back of the direct report, teenager, and repairman to the shoulders of the boss, mom, and homeowner. Once you visualize the long-tailed primate jumping from one person to another, you’ll never forget the illustration. Since becoming aware of this phenomenon, sometimes in conversations I can almost feel the weight of a monkey as it jumps from my back onto someone else’s or from their back to mine.

• • Imagine that you’re walking toward your office when one of your direct reports approaches and says, “I’m not sure how to handle a problem we’re having on a project.” You reply, “Let me think about it and I’ll get back with you.” The monkey is now on your back.
  • Imagine that your teenager approaches you and says, “Mom, I can’t find my baseball shirt.” You reply, “I may have put it in the washing machine, let me check.” The monkey is now on your back.
  • Imagine that you’re having some repair work done at your house and the repairman says, “I’m not sure this repair will meet city code.” You reply, “I’ll call the city and ask.” The monkey is now on your back.

I fall into this monkey-on-my-back trap often because 1) I like to do things myself, 2) sometimes I think I can do a better job at certain things than others can, and 3) I’m a people pleaser so I’m inclined to do people’s jobs for them.

When we allow employees, children, workers, and friends to handle their own monkeys, they will grow, acquire new skills, become more responsible, and more work will get done. And we’ll have more time to do those things that only we should do and more discretionary time to enjoy life.

Here’s a copy of the article.

We’ve often heard that first impressions are important…and they are. But don’t neglect final impressions because we humans are highly influenced by endings. Regardless of how an experience started and played out, we remember most how it ended. 

There’s probably a more tactful example of this idea, but this anecdote—involving colonoscopies—is telling. The experiment was conducted by Psychologists Redelmeier and Kahneman. 

“In the late 1980s, colonoscopies were painful, and not merely dreaded. The discomfort of the procedure dissuaded people from returning for another one. By 1990, colon cancer was killing sixty thousand people every year in the United States. Many of its victims would have survived had their cancer been detected at an early stage. Was it possible to alter their memory of the experience so that they might forget how unpleasant it was?

“To answer the question, Redelmeier ran an experiment on roughly seven hundred people over a period of a year. One group of patients had the colonoscope yanked out of their rear ends at the end of their colonoscopy without ceremony; the other group felt the tip of the scope lingering in their rectums for an extra three minutes. Those extra three minutes were not pleasant. They were merely less unpleasant than the other procedure. The patients in the first group were on the receiving end of an old-fashioned wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am colonoscopy; those in the second group enjoyed a more gentle, less painful, ending. The sum total of pain experienced by the second group was, however, greater.

“An hour after the procedure, the researchers entered the recovery room and asked the patients to rate their experience. Those who had the more pleasant ending remembered less pain than did the patients who had not. Human beings who had never imagined that they might prefer more pain to less could nearly all be fooled into doing so. As Redelmeier put it, ‘Last impressions can be lasting impressions’” (from The Undoing Project, Michael Lewis, page 235). 

How can we take advantage of this insight? 

When planning an event, end with a nice, feel-good experience.

Several years ago I took 36 friends on a trip to Europe. On the last night of the trip we were staying in a convent in Rome. I had arranged for a professional tenor to sing a concert—just for our group—in the chapel prior to a four-course meal. It was an incredible ending to the trip; people are still talking about it. No one mentions the fact that it rained that last day in Rome, which made touring difficult. The nice ending of the trip trumped previous inconveniences.  

When an unfortunate event occurs, its impact can be minimized by orchestrating a positive ending. 

In 1989 Lexus introduced its first car, the flagship LS400. Their slogan was “the relentless pursuit of perfection.” But the car had flaws and all 8,000 vehicles were recalled. The cruise control failed to disengage, the plastic cover around the high-mounted rear brake light warped, and a poor connection between the alternator and battery could cause the battery to run down. 

This could have rendered Lexus stillborn—it’s first car was flawed. But the company took full responsibility for the problems and its dealers did the repair work at no charge to the customer. But here’s what made the big difference: An older couple had bought their LS400 in a major city and drove it to their small town which was 500 miles from the nearest dealership. When Lexus heard about the dilemma they sent mechanics to the small town and repaired the car at the couple’s home. The story went viral and became a memorable legend—“Lexus will always take care of their customers.”  

Think carefully about how you end all relational encounters: a conversation with a co-worker; a lunch meeting; a consulting contract; a worship service; an athletic event; a planning retreat, a dinner party. A well-orchestrated ending can make a significant difference

Travel with Friends trip to Northern Europe – August 13-29

Here’s the brochure. Baltic-Sea-Trip-2024-Brochure-110823-Fillable

Contact me if you’re interested. [email protected] – 214.783.4414

 

On a recent visit to Israel, our group visited the Qumran Caves in the Judaean Desert, where the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered in 1947. It’s a fascinating story. 

There’s a nice, modern visitor’s center on site. On my way to the bathroom I had to walk through the gift shop. (I deplore tourist gift shops; bladder control is one of the only reasons I enter.) I glanced down at one of the advertising displays and saw this picture of Mariah Carey. I was amused, surprised, and reminded once again of the idiocy of being influenced by the celebrity effect. 

Mariah has been hired as a spokesperson for Premier Cosmetics Laboratories, an Israeli cosmetics and skincare company that manufactures its products using mineral components extracted from the Dead Sea. I smiled at the tagline “I call the shots and I think I know the best.” (See this webpage for more information on this debacle.)

It’s sad that our culture is so infatuated with famous people that we succumb to advertising campaigns that exploit our naivety. I sort of understand the connection between Michael Jordon and Nike shoes, but when Roger Federer poses as a coffee machine expert and Jennifer Aniston promotes Smartwater, we should recognize the disconnect. 

The celebrity effect is the ability of famous people to influence others. Companies use that star power and influence to boost their own products and services. 

No doubt, it works. When Chanel signed Nicole Kidman in 2003, global sales of the perfume they promoted increased 30%. When Nike and Tiger Woods inked an endorsement deal in 2000, Nike’s market share went from 0.9% to 4% in six months.

The celebrity effect is used in about 14-19% of advertisements aired in the U.S. 

Let’s resist

Travel with Friends trip to Scandinavia – August 13-29

Here’s the brochure. Baltic-Sea-Trip-2024-Brochure-110823-Fillable

Contact me if you’re interested. [email protected] – 214.783.4414