You don’t have to have an opinion about everything

Last week someone asked my opinion about the college student debt debacle we have in our country. I started to offer a half-baked response based on bits and pieces of what I’ve heard in the media. But I paused, and then said, “I don’t have an opinion about that.” A longer, more accurate response would have been, “I don’t have an intelligent, informed viewpoint about that. I’ve not done the necessary research to substantiate an opinion.”

How long has it been since you said, “I don’t have an opinion about that”? It’s a phrase we should use more often.

Consider…

  1. You don’t need to have an opinion about everything. Selectively choose the topics you’re willing to pursue and leave the others alone. Some topics are trivial and an impromptu response is fine: If someone asks my point of view about a movie or restaurant, I’ll respond without thinking much about it.
  2. We should have an opinion about important issues. Don’t be intellectually lazy and neglect developing convictions; it takes time and effort to properly research a topic.
  3. Form your opinions slowly and base them on facts. Former U.S. Secretary of Labor Daniel Moynihan famously said “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.”  Wouldn’t it be nice if our opinions were informed by facts and not assumptions. (I know…the challenge these days is deciphering fact from fiction).
  4. Don’t finalize your opinion until you’ve researched at least two opposing positions regarding an issue. On many issues, we start with a biased position (often suggested by which cable news channel we watch, our family of origin, or our political persuasion). Prior to solidifying your stance, you should be able to argue both sides of an issue.
  5. Hold your opinion lightly and be open to change. I’m always amazed how highly intelligent people often espouse opposing views. For instance, there are Nobel-Prize winning economists who believe austerity is the solution to a troubled national economy and there are Nobel-Prize winning economists who believe subsidies are the solution.  
  6. Be respectful of other peoples’ opinions. What are the chances that you are 100% correct in all your opinions and convictions? The answer is obvious—0%. So proceed with humility and remain malleable.

So, what is your opinion about this post? 🙂

“I wish you bad luck,” says Chief Justice John Roberts to his son’s graduating class

On June 3, 2017, Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts gave the commencement speech at his son’s ninth-grade graduation from Cardigan Mountain School—a New Hampshire boarding school for boys in grades six through nine.

It was not a typical commencement speech full of platitudes and cliches. Here’s a transcript of part of his speech.

“Commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come,

  • I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice.
  • I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty.
  • Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted.
  • I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.
  • And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship.
  • I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others.
  • I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion.
  • Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.”

Let’s visit about that last phrase, “your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.”

When bad or unfortunate things happen to us, we usually get mad, sad, discouraged, revengeful, cynical…but do we learn from these experiences? Do we become better people because of the misfortunes? We should, because if we don’t we’ll forfeit the valuable lessons that difficult times offer.

Sometimes, we learn more from misfortune than we do from fortune. For instance, consider Roberts’ phrase “I hope you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty.” We can be surrounded by loyal friends and colleagues and soon take them for granted and mistakenly believe that we’re entitled to such kindness and will always have it. Then we feel the pangs of betrayal, and suddenly realize what a gift loyalty is and even begin to evaluate our loyalty to others.

We should make a list of the disappointments we have experienced in life and beside each one record the lesson learned. If we didn’t learn anything when it happened, we can learn now.

Here’s a transcript of Roberts’ entire speech.

Here’s a video of his speech.

You really need a hobby

“A man can wear out a particular part of his mind by continually using it and tiring it, just in the same way as he can wear out the elbows of his coat…to be really happy and really safe, one ought to have at least two or three hobbies, and they must all be real.” Winston Churchill, Pall Mall, 1925

I just read Daniel Smith’s book How to Think Like Churchill. I recommend it. Smith has written 26 short chapters about Churchill’s life in a blend of biography and life lessons. We’re all familiar with Churchill’s incredible life and legacy, but before reading the book, I was unaware that he was a huge advocate of hobbies and had many himself. Smith devotes an entire chapter to discussing this topic. Churchill:  

  • Was a keen fan of music, particularly military marches and classics from the music hall.
  • Enjoyed cinema, particularly the works of the Marx Brothers and Walt Disney.
  • Was a connoisseur of fine wine, food, and cigars.
  • Was a keen hunter, riding with hounds even in his seventies, as well as enjoying big game hunting.
  • As a boy he had an interest in stamp collecting and card games. 
  • Enjoyed landscaping and especially, somewhat unexpectedly, bricklaying, to the extent that he became a member of the Guild of Bricklayers. 
  • The pastime he enjoyed most was painting. He took up painting in his forties and in his lifetime produced 500 works. He insisted that all his unwieldy artist’s paraphernalia—including stools, easels, canvases and paint boxes—be taken on his exotic travels. In 1948 he published a volume entitled Painting as a Pastime. He was quite good at it; Pablo Picasso said, “If Churchill were a painter by profession, he’d have no trouble making a living.”

A hobby should not be just an extension of your profession. If you’re a CPA working for an accounting firm, reading the latest journal articles about the tax code does not qualify as a hobby. A real hobby might be pursuing scuba diving or ballroom dancing. Escape from your bubble and become a novice in a different area.

A good hobby should initially put you in unfamiliar territory. You’ll start as a neophyte, feel uncomfortable, and fail often. But ultimately you’ll get better and the journey will be invigorating. 

I have several major hobbies. I create pedagogical art (art that teaches a lesson) and I am a wine expert (I have three advanced certifications in wine studies and maintain a small vineyard). I enjoy these hobbies so much I often get into the “flow” when engaging in them; I lose track of time and enter a different mental state.

It’s beneficial for couples to share a hobby. My wife and I love to travel. We want to visit 60 countries before we die; we’ve been to 48. We enjoy visiting museums; we’ve been to most of the great art museums in the world. We enjoy cooking together; sometimes we’ll spend three hours preparing and savoring a meal.  

Hobbies are extremely beneficial. They:

  1. Help reduce or eradicate boredom. 
  2. Give you something to do when you have extra time. 
  3. Give you an activity you can look forward to and get excited about.
  4. Help you develop new skills.
  5. Enhance your life. 
  6. Relieve stress.
  7. Promote better health and may lower the risk of high blood pressure. 
  8. May reduce the risk of depression and dementia.
  9. Some hobbies are good for you physically; they keep you active.
  10. Improve creativity.
  11. Get you out of your mental and physical ruts.
  12. Can strengthen relationships.
  13. Provide a good transition to retirement.

It’s never too late to start a hobby. The old saying—When is the best time to plant a tree? The best time is twenty years ago; the next best time is today.—applies to starting hobbies. 

Please click the respond button and tell your fellow readers—What are your hobbies?

Join me on a trip to Italy, Turkey, and Greek Isles – September 2022

Travel is one of life’s greatest opportunities. I enjoy helping other people experience the thrill of the journey. That’s why I sponsor international Travel With Friends excursions.

For the past 12 years I’ve led groups of friends on annual, international trips. We’ve been to Paris, London, Europe, the Mediterranean, Baltic States, Russia, Israel, Peru, and North Africa. We’ve never had a malfunction or bad experience; just memorable, life-enhancing moments.

Please join me this fall 2022, on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to the cradle of Western civilization. We’ll visit Rome, the eternal city; Athens, the birthplace of democracy; Istanbul, where East meets West, Ephesus, where we’ll visit the famous Celsus Library; three Greek isles (There are 6,000 islands in Greece; we’ll visit two of the best: Santorini, Messina, and Mykonos.); and Naples, Italy, where we’ll visit the ruins of Pompeii and the beautiful Amalfi Coast.

It’s been said that one of the joys of traveling is not only where you go but who you go with and who you meet along the way. This tour group will be limited to 40 interesting ladies and gentlemen who travel well—friends of mine who enjoy exploring great places. 

Travel takes time and money, but it’s worth the investment. You’ll be stretched and challenged, and you’ll learn more about the world in which you live and the life you live in the world. 

I hope you’ll join me on this memorable trip to southern Europe. 

Here’s a brochure with all the details.  Travel with Friends – 2022-Brochure

Questions? Email me at [email protected]