Don’s “best of 2019”

Here are some highlights of my life in 2019 A.D.

Book – The Undoing Project by Michael Lewis. Forty years ago, Israeli psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky wrote a series of breathtakingly original papers that invented the field of behavioral economics. They had one of the greatest partnerships in the history of science. In The Undoing Project, Lewis shows how their Nobel Prize–winning theory of the mind altered our perception of reality. The last page made me weep.

Meal – In December I took my family on our 6th consecutive transatlantic
crossing on the Queen Mary 2. While in London we eat a quintessential four-course English meal at 45 Jerymn.  This year, master Benjamin handled himself well at the fancy restaurant.

 

 

 

Concert – This year I directed my 47th consecutive Christmas program. When I was 19 years old I directed a performance of the Messiah at my church in Austin, Texas. Here are
 pictures of the 1972 concert in Austin and the 2019 Christmas program at Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas. Life would be tedious if devoid of great church music, particularly  on sacred holidays.

Persons of the year – Scott and Barbara Scribner have been our friends for years. They are realtors in the Dallas metroplex. Last year they went the second mile in helping us negotiate a difficult real estate deal. Thanks, Scott and Barbara. If you need a realtor in the DFW area, they are among the best ([email protected]).

 

Travel experience – In August we toured the Greek Isles. It is a beautiful and historic part of the world. This is a picture of the Library of Celsus in ancient Ephesus, constructed in the 2nd century CE.

In October 2020 I’m taking a small group of travelers to Rome, Turkey, Croatia, and the Greek Isles; we’ll see the ruins of this ancient library.

 

Hobby update – In spring 2017  I planted a small vineyard in East Texas. I’m growing Tempranillo, Blanc-du-Bois and Black Spanish grapes. The first two years, the fruit is cut off to channel all energy to the root-system. In July 2020 I’ll be crushing grapes.

 

Fun experience – One of my goals during the summer was to help Benjamin be pool-safe. We practiced several times a week. Here’s a video of his final exam.

In memoriam –  The day after Thanksgiving, Grams passed from this life to the next. Mary’s mother was 95-years old.

Grams was the personification of Micah 6:8—He has told you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.  There is no doubt that God was pleased with her life and testimony.

Grams lived an exemplary life: She put feet to her faith. She was kind to all. Her work ethic was solid. She loved her family. She was prudent and careful. She was a joy to be with…never demanding or seeking attention.

She has left her family and friends a high-standard of love and life for us to aspire to.

We will miss her greatly and think of her often.

How to learn from reading

We can learn just about anything in life if we will simply read and then reflect on what we have read (Warren Bennis).

Several years ago I was teaching the Lead Well workshop to a group of executives. In one of the sessions I casually asked, “How many of you have read Stephen Covey’s book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People?” Just about everyone had. I then asked, “Which of the seven habits did you best connect with?” No one responded. I gently prompted them on some of the habits (start with the end in mind; be proactive; put first things first) but blank stares and silence filled the room. Reading Covey’s great book had no lasting value for these executives because they had not retained what they read.

Because of that encounter, I formalized my approach to reading with the intent to learn.

In last week’s post, I listed the books I read in 2019. Here’s how I processed each one so as to maximize learning. Let’s begin with a reminder of the importance of reading.

1. Read.

“He who does not read is no better off than those who cannot read.” –  Mark Twain

“Those who do read are better off than those who can read but do not.” – Don McMinn

Make reading a regular part of your weekly routine. Some people read daily, others read for longer periods of time on the weekend. Make reading a priority, otherwise you won’t do it.

There’s a difference between reading for entertainment and pleasure and reading to learn. I read the daily newspaper to relax and catch up on the news, but I don’t read it to learn. I read a few novels every year but I don’t anticipate that I’m going to learn a lot; I read them for pleasure.

Determine that you are going to read with the intent to learn.

Identify written material that you can learn from. Don’t underestimate how hard this can be; a lot of printed material is intellectual cotton candy. Here are some sources for finding good material:

  • Get recommendations from friends who enjoy reading good material.
  • Read book reviews (the Sunday New York Times has an entire section on book reviews).
  • Identify periodicals that feed your mind. I enjoy National Geographic, Smithsonian, The Atlantic.
  • Discover what type of book works for you. For instance, I do not enjoy reading a large book on a single subject; I just don’t have the interest or the patience. I’m a generalist so I would rather read three shorter books about three different topics than one long book about one.

Discover your personal reading preferences.

2. Develop a process that will help you retain what you read. Read and mark.

I’ve developed the following system that works for me. Use it as a general template and craft your own system.

  • Before you start reading, take a few minutes to anticipate what you hope to learn. What is the topic? Why have you chosen this book or periodical? Who is the author? Why should you spend time reading this material? How might it impact your life? Study the table of contents to get an overview of the book.
  • Read the book with pen in hand. When you read something that speaks to you, circle or underline it and then make marks in the upper/outside corner of the page (one mark means “this is good”; two marks mean “this is really good”; three marks mean “this is outstanding.”) Also, in the margins, write key words or thoughts.
  • Each person has his own reading/attention-span. Read until your mind begins to drift and then set the book aside, or switch to another book. I normally focus on three books at a time. I’ll read one for 20 minutes, then switch to another for 20 minutes. With practice, you can increase your ability to concentrate while reading.
  • Quickly find links between what you read and real life. How can the thoughts espoused in the book be lived out in real life? If often helps to share with others what you have learned.
  • When you finish reading the book, put it aside for several weeks.

3. Journal key thoughts.

Re-read the book, focusing on those areas that you marked. This should take about 1/5 the amount of time it took you to read it the first time. Record in your thought-journal, significant thoughts and passages from the book. Formerly, I wrote in a nice leather journal. Now, I use the Evernote app because the files are always with me and it has a search function.

Periodically, re-read your journal entries and highlight salient thoughts, particularly those you want to memorize.

4. Memorize key thoughts.

Knowledge without memory is useless so it’s helpful to memorize key thoughts and concepts. When committed to memory, thoughts will continue to grow, mature, and become clear.

For instance, years ago I memorized a significant thought proffered by F. Scott Fitzgerald, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in your mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” When I first memorized the sentence I wasn’t sure what it meant, but it lingered in my mind for years and one day it came alive. Now it gives me solace and peace of mind.

So, as you re-read your journal entries, identify what you want to memorize. Develop a memorization system that works for you. Some people use index cards, I use Evernote.

The key to memorization is repetition and review.

5. Apply knowledge to life.

Finally, bridge the knowing-doing gap because knowledge without application is minimally useful.

Authors Pffeffer and Sutton wrote a terrific book titled The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge Into Action (2000). It’s a great read that exposes a conundrum we all face: why is it so difficult to do what we know we should do? Why do we know but we do not do?

In 2020, read more and process what you read.

The best 5 books I read last year

The joy and benefit of reading cannot be overestimated. It’s the best way to grow intellectually and stay mentally viable. All it takes is time, and it’s time well spent.

Consider these avid readers. If they find the time to read, so can we.

  • Nike founder Phil Knight so reveres his library that in it you have to take off your shoes and bow.
  • Oprah Winfrey credits books with much of her success: “Books were my path to personal freedom.”
  • Warren Buffett spends five to six hours a day reading five newspapers and 500 pages of corporate reports.
  • Bill Gates reads 50 books a year.
  • Mark Zuckerberg aimed to read at least one book every two weeks.
  • Elon Musk grew up reading two books a day, according to his brother.
  • Mark Cuban reads for more than three hours every day.
  • Arthur Blank, a cofounder of Home Depot, reads two hours a day.
  • Billionaire entrepreneur David Rubenstein reads six books a week.
  • Dan Gilbert, the self-made billionaire who owns the Cleveland Cavaliers, reads for one to two hours a day. [Data from Michael Simmons, The 5-hour Rule, Business Insider, December 11, 2019]

If you’re not in the habit of reading books, start by reading just one good book a month.

My goal is to read a book a week. Here’s what I read in 2019. At the end of the list I give my top five books of the year.

The numbers in brackets represent how I rate each book on a scale from 1 (not good) to 10 (exceptional).

January

  1. Brief Answers to the Big Questions – Stephen Hawking – 2018, 218 pages [8] — An interesting book by an incredible man. Gives a brief update on what science says about the big issues.
  2. Past Tense – Lee Child – 2018, 382 pages [7] – I allow myself 3-4 trivial novels per year. Pure entertainment; nothing much to learn, but a good read.
  3. The Greatest Show on Earth – Richard Dawkins, 2009, 437 pages [7.5] – Dawkins is the definitive voice on evolution. Regardless of your conviction regarding this topic, this is a fascinating read. 
  4. Interior States – Meghan O’Gieblyn – 2018, 221 pages [6.5] – Collection of essays on various topics. The title is a double entendre referring to O’Gieblyn’s personal mental and emotional states and the fact that she was raised in the mid-West. 
  5. Factfulness – Hans Rosling – 2018, 297 pages [9] – Very readable; almost entertaining. Rosling lists ten reasons why humans often misunderstand facts. 

February

  1. Launch – Jeff Walker – 2014, 180 pages [6] – Rather cheesy book on online marketing strategy.
  2. Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming – Stephen LaBerge – 1990, 255 pages [7] – Lucid dreaming is when you’re having a dream and you realize it’s a dream. This is a good, scientific approach to this topic. 
  3. Give and Take – Why helping others drives our success – Adam Grant – 2013, 240 pages [7] – Good thoughts on the value of being generous. I tried to read this book digitally and didn’t enjoy the experience. I’m going back to physical books. 
  4. The Sherlockian – Graham Moore, 2010, 350 pages [8] – If you like reading Sherlock Holmes, you’ll enjoy this book. Moore maintains two stories—one takes place in 1900, the other in 2010. 
  5. Math Squared – 100 Concepts You Should Know – Freiberger and Thomas, 248 pages [7.5] – A helpful summary of 100 major math principles.
  6. The Bridge of Reason – Ten Steps to See God – Joshua Rasmussen, 2018, 102 pages [6.5] – Written for philosophers, I wasn’t able to follow the conversation.
  7. More or Less – Choosing a Lifestyle of Excessive Generosity – Jeff Shinabarger, 2013, 260 pages [6.5] – Not many new thoughts in this book.  
  8. Nothing to Envy – Ordinary Lives in North Korea – Barbara Demick – 2015, 303 pages [9] – An interesting history of the enigma that is North Korea.

March

  1. Inside of a Dog – What Dogs See, Smell, and Know – Alexandra Horowitz, 2009, 301 pages [8] – A must read for everyone who owns a dog. A scientific but readable treatise on canines. 
  2. Religion, Politics, and the Modern West – Mark Lilla, 2007, 219 pages [7] – An interesting discussion of religion and politics. 
  3. Forged in Crisis – The Power of Courageous Leadership in Turbulent Times – Nancy Koehn, 2017, 448 pages [9] – Biography of Shackleton, Lincoln, Douglass, Bonhoeffer and Carson. Well written and informative. 

April

  1. Zen in the Art of Archery – Eugen Herrigel, 1953, 81 pages [5] – Japanese archery is an art-form that takes decades to master. I found the Zen aspect of this book interesting but hard to grasp, perhaps because I’m a Westerner. 
  2. Your Brain – 100 things you never knew – National Geographic, 2019, 125 pages [8] – Terrific, succinct information about the center of everyone’s universe. 
  3. Dead on Arrival – Matt Richtel, 2017, 442 pages (paperback) [5] – Typical modern thriller, just not worth the time it took to read it.
  4. The Illusion of Knowledge – Stoman and Fernbach, 2017, 265 pages [9] – Written by scientists but in layman’s language. Terrific thoughts about the fact that collaborative intelligence is always better than individual intelligence.
  5. Time in History – G.J. Whitrow – 1988, 186 pages [6.5] – Densely written, I could not help but skim some of the pages, but interesting nevertheless. It is the history of the concept of time.

May

  1. Good Beyond Evil – Ordinary People in Extraordinary Times, Eva Gossman, 2002, 134 pages [8.5] – Gossman survived the Holocaust because of the kindness of six people; she tells the story in an engaging way. 
  2. The Search for God and Guinness—A Biography of the Beer That Changed the World, Stephen Mansfield, 2009, 270 pages [8.5] – A terrific book on a fascinating subject. I was interested to read that Martin Luther, John Calvin, John Wesley, George Whitfield, and Jonathan Edwards were all beer aficionados.

June 

  1. The Storm on Our Shores; One Island, Two Soldiers, and the Forgotten Battle of WW2 – Mark Obmascik, 2019, 231 pages [8.5] – Not since the battle of 1812 had America ceded land to an enemy, but in WW2 the small Alaskan island of Attu was captured by the Japanese. This book tells the story of that battle from the perspective of a Japanese surgeon and an American soldier.
  2. The Fire Next Time – James Baldwin, 1962, 106 pages [6.5] – Written at the height of the Civil rights movement, it offers keen insight into the challenges of race inequalities. 
  3. The Defining Decade – Why your twenties matter and how to make the most of them now – Meg Jay, 2012, 201 pages [9] – Everyone ages 15-30 should read this book, but so should people ages 30-70. Truly, there’s something for everyone in this book.
  4. Option B – Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant, 2017, 176 pages [9] – Deals with developing resiliency and life after tragedy. 
  5. Meditations – Marcus Aurelius (born 121 A.D.), translation by Gregory Hays, 170 pages [7] – A collection of his wise sayings. It’s hard to digest all of this information. Like reading the book of Proverbs in one setting. 

July

  1. Moonwalking With Einstein – The Art and Science of Remembering Everything – Joshua Foer, 271 pages, 2011 [9] – As a journalist, Joshua Foer covered the USA Memory Championships, then decided that he would enter the next year’s contest, and he won.
  2. Letters To A Young Contrarian – Christopher Hitchens, 141 pages, 2001 [7] – Hitchens writes to the next generation of the importance of freethinking and disagreement. 
  3. I Am Pilgrim – Terry Hayes, 641 pages, 2014 [8] – A spy-thriller with multiple plots. 
  4. Powerful – Patti McCord, 150 pages, 2017 [8] – McCord was director of HR for Netflix. She posits some radical but good thoughts for organizations.

August

  1. Leading Lives That Matter – What We Should Do and Who We Should Be – compiled by Schwehn and Bass, 539 pages, 2008 [7] – Anthology on work and vocation with contributions from Schweitzer, T. Roosevelt, Homer, and many others. 
  2. The Death of Ivan Ilych – Leo Tolstoy – translated by Maude, 1895 [8] – A discourse on mortality, death, and meaning in life.  
  3. The Power of Habits—Start good ones, break bad ones, change your life – Special Time Edition – 94 pages, 2019 [6] – A series of 16 short, easy to read articles.

September

  1. The Darwin Conspiracy – John Darnton, 303 pages, 2015 [7] – Fascinating fiction that toggles between Darwin’s journey on the Beagle and a modern-day historian. 
  2. Why Everything You Know About Soccer Is Wrong – The Numbers Game – Chris Anderson and David Sally, 349 pages, 2013 [7] – I thought the book would be more about numbers than soccer, but I was wrong. Since I’m not a big sports fan, I didn’t enjoy this book as much as a soccer fan would. 
  3. The Cure for Stupidity – Using Brain Science to Explain Irrational Behavior at Work – Eric Bailey, 185 pages, 2019 [5] – Disjointed thoughts and hard to follow. 

October

  1. The Fifth Risk – Michael Lewis, 209 pages, 2018 [7] – The Fifth Risk is the mismanagement of government programs. This book will inform you and scare you. 
  2. The Undoing Project – Michael Lewis, 352 pages, 2017 [9.5] – The story of the collaboration between two of the top psychologists of our generation: Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman. 

November

  1. The Seasons of a Man’s Life, Daniel Levinson, 340 pages, 1978 [7] – Though written 41 years ago, the book still accurately addresses the stages of a man’s life. But not much is said about later years. 

December

  1. The Joy of Efficiency – How to live and work better with less, Paul Westbrook, 188 pages, 2019 [7] – My favorite chapters were on how to build an energy efficient house.
  2. Neanderthal, John Darnton, 368 pages, 1996 [6.5] – Fictional story of discovering a secluded tribe of Homo sapiens neanderthalensis. 
  3. Mind In Motion, Barbara Tversky, 288 pages, 2019 [7] – Brilliant thoughts; a bit scattered.
  4. Into the Raging Sea, Rachel Slade, 373 pages, 2018 [8.5] – A fascinating account of the most significant U.S. maritime ship wreck since W.W. 2 – the sinking of the container ship, El Faro, on its last trip to Puerto Rico. 

Five best books I read in 2019

PsychologyThe Undoing Project – Michael Lewis, 352 pages, 2017 [9.5] – The story of the collaboration between two of the top psychologists of our generation: Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman. 

Self-helpMoonwalking With Einstein – The Art and Science of Remembering Everything – Joshua Foer, 271 pages, 2011 [9] – As a journalist, Joshua Foer covered the USA Memory Championships, then decided that he would enter the next year’s contest, and he won.

HistoryForged in Crisis – The Power of Courageous Leadership in Turbulent Times – Nancy Koehn, 2017, 448 pages [9] – Biography of Shackleton, Lincoln, Douglass, Bonhoeffer and Carson. Well written, informative, and inspiring. 

FictionThe Sherlockian – Graham Moore, 2010, 350 pages [8] – If you like reading Sherlock Holmes, you’ll enjoy this book. Moore toggles back and forth between two stories—one takes place in 1900, the other in 2010.

Current eventsNothing to Envy – Ordinary Lives in North Korea – Barbara Demick – 2015, 303 pages [9] – An interesting history of the enigma that is North Korea.

Be devoted to one another

Thirty-six times in the New Testament we see a recurring word pattern—an action verb followed by the words one another. In English grammar this phrase is called a reciprocal pronoun—I am to act a certain way toward you and you should act the same way toward me. For instance, we’re told to encourage one another, accept one another, comfort one another, honor one another (and 32 other phrases).

In the book I wrote on these actions (Love One Another: 20 Practical Lessons) I suggested that all of us should give all the one anothers to all people at all times. In short, give all to all.

  • These phrases are commands for us to obey; we can’t opt out and choose not to participate.
  • I shouldn’t pick and choose which of the one anothers I’ll give (for instance: I’ll encourage people but not accept them).
  • I shouldn’t show favoritism as to whom I give them to (for instance: I’ll encourage some people but not others).
  • I should willingly dispense these acts of grace all the time (for instance, I shouldn’t have the attitude: “I’ll give these when I’m feeling good but not when I’m upset.” 

But there is one exception to the “give all to all” guideline; there is one “one another” that can be sparingly dispensed: “Be devoted to one another” (Romans 12:10).

The Greek word for “devotion” is philostorgos, which means “to cherish one’s kindred, to be fond of, to be fraternal toward others, tenderly loving, and tenderly affectionate.” Devotion implies a deep level of commitment. It is, perhaps, the only One Another that we can ration out.

Through the years, I have developed a deep sense of devotion to certain individuals, but not to everyone. My highest devotion is to my wife, children, and grandchildren. Even among my friends, I am more devoted to some than others. 

Jesus did the same. He had a small group of people he was deeply devoted to: his twelve disciples. Among the twelve, there were three men in whom he confided the most: Peter, James, and John. Some would even suggest he was closest to John. He didn’t love these three men more than the others, but he did spend more time with them, allowing them to know him in ways the others didn’t. They were invited to be with Christ on the Mount of Transfiguration, perhaps the highlight of his earthly ministry, and in the Garden of Gethsemane, arguably the lowest point in his life. Jesus didn’t have favorites, but he did have intimates. He loved the world, taught thousands, but was devoted to a few.

Likewise, it’s okay for us to be selective as to whom we’re devoted to. On a practical level, it would be impossible for us to express devotion to the hundreds of people we’re acquainted with. A sense of devotion can be reserved for a few. 

I am devoted to my family. I’ve jokingly told my wife, “If you ever leave me, I’m going with you.” I’m devoted to my  two daughters; through life’s ups and downs, I’ll be their faithful father. I’m devoted to my son-in-law and his daughter. Five years ago, my grandson entered my scope of devotion. As a leader, I’m devoted to members of my team. I have hundreds of good friends and feel devoted to some but not all of them. 

Devotion is expressed in these terms:

  • Value — “I highly value you; you are important to me.”
  • Commitment — “I am committed to you; I pledge to be lovingly involved in your life.”
  • Long-term commitment — “I’m in this relationship for the long haul. I’ll walk with you through good times and bad. We’re friends for life.”
  • Priority — “My life, like yours, is multifaceted. However, you are a priority to me.
  • Meeting needs — “I am aware of your physical and emotional needs and want to be a part of meeting those needs.”
  • Faithfulness — “Relationally, I’m going to bind myself to you. I hope my deep commitment will make you feel secure.”
  • Vulnerable communication — “I am willing to share with you the deep issues of my life, and you can trust me with the deep concerns of your life. I want to know you in a deep, intimate way.”
  • Tenderness — “You are very dear to me.”
  • Consistency — “You can count on me to be a consistent source of love and care.”
  • Love, even unto death — “I would give my life for you.”

Question: to whom are you devoted? As suggested by the previous list, true devotion requires enormous commitment; have you made such a commitment to a few people? 

Soon after Jack Benny died, George Burns was interviewed on TV. “Jack and I had a wonderful friendship for fifty-five years,” Burns said. “Jack never walked out on me when I sang a song, and I never walked out on him when he played the violin. We laughed together, we played together, we worked together, and we ate together. I suppose that for many of those years we talked every single day.”

In a sweet and sincere way, George Gurns and Jack Benny were devoted to each other.

[reminder]What are your thoughts about this essay?[/reminder]