Don McMinn

At the end of Brad Thor’s novel, Field Agent, he says of the protagonist, “He had the three ingredients to happiness right in the palm of his hand and he knew it—something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to.”

This is good advice. It may not be a comprehensive and fail-proof philosophy of life, but it’s still good advice.

Strive for:

Something meaningful to do.

We all need to be involved in meaningful activity. We need something that will engage our hands and minds; something that is enjoyable to us and helpful to others. Hopefully, your work qualifies, but for some people it doesn’t, in which case you need to find another area of meaningful engagement. The qualifier “meaningful” implies that the act will be enjoyable to us and helpful to others. Playing golf all day doesn’t qualify.

Someone to love.

I like this thought because it encourages us to focus on giving. It doesn’t suggest “someone to love me” although we need that, too.

We need someone (ideally more than one person) that we can love unconditionally and without reserve, and interact with on a regular basis. Love as a verb, not a noun.

Something to look forward to.

Granted, the future is the great, unending, unknown. But it is advantageous to plan something in the future that we can joyfully anticipate; a “carrot in front of the horse.”

It can be short-term “I look forward to relaxing and seeing a movie this weekend.” It can be mid-term: “I look forward to taking a vacation in six months.” Or, it can be long-term: “I look forward to finishing my college degree and beginning my professional career.”

Can you sense the despair that sets in when these three issues are missing?

• I have nothing meaningful to do. My days are marked by boredom and tedious activity.
• I have no one to love. I am emotionally constipated. I keep searching for someone to love me, but I don’t have someone to give love to.
• I have nothing to look forward to. The future looks uninteresting and bleak.

My personal response to these three suggestions is:

• I love my job. It is interesting, invigorating, challenging and rewarding. I also find meaning in writing these blog posts, hoping they are beneficial to my readers.
• I love my 26-month-old grandson, Benjamin. I delight in pouring love and affection on him, our newest family member. (I am reminded of the axiom: Grandchildren are God’s reward for not having killed your own.)
• I just booked a transatlantic cruise from London to New York City on the Queen Mary 2. Between now and the trip, not a day will go by that I won’t think about it.

Personalize this lesson by answering these questions.

• What meaningful activity do you engage in?
• Whom do you love?
• What are you looking forward to?

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The health and growth of all organizations rises and falls on leadership.

Leadership is the primary factor influencing the health and growth of every organization. Organizations can increase their leadership quotient by:

• Increasing the effectiveness of existing leaders.
• Increasing the quantity of leaders by identifying, training and empowering new leaders.

Fifteen year ago I developed a leadership development curriculum that has been taught to thousands of leaders in diverse industries including technology, medical, non-profit, and financial services.

Lead Well offers leadership training and resources to organizations and individuals in all industries. Our propriety curriculum focuses on 12 indispensable leadership skills – six hard skills (what a leader does) and six soft skills (who a leader is). The training provides a thorough and systematic approach to leadership development.

The fall workshop will be held September 27-28 in Dallas, TX. We’ll meet both days from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Click here for a summary of the curriculum.

Go to learntoleadwell.com to take a free, leadership skills assessment tool and to learn more about the workshop.

For more information and registration contact [email protected]

 

 

In every good marriage, it helps sometimes to be a little deaf. I have followed that advice assiduously, and not only at home through 56 years of a marital partnership nonpareil. I have employed it as well in every workplace, including the Supreme Court. When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken, best tune out. Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one’s ability to persuade.   Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg [This excerpt from Ginsburg’s new book My Own Words appeared in a New York Times article.]

Your spouse, friend, colleague, or total stranger makes a silly, unnecessary, provocative, or dubious statement. It may be, at best, trivial, inaccurate, vague, or unfair; at worst, it’s tacky, wrong, even hurtful.

When is it okay to just let verbal flatulence slowly dissipate without addressing it, and when is response compulsory?

As Ginsburg advises, sometimes no response is the best response.

Put yourself on the other side of these hypothetical conversations. How often do you say something that you later regret saying? When you say things that should have remained unsaid, aren’t you appreciative when someone offers you conversational grace?

Granted, there are times when unwholesome words should be addressed, particularly if someone is a repeat offender. Chronic verbal abuse is inexcusable and should not go unchallenged.

So the question is: when should you ignore and when should you respond?

In the coming days, exercise the “Ginsburg-restraint.” It is a tool we all need in our relational toolbox.

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An article in the March 24, 1972 issue of Life magazine featured John Goddard who, at age 15, wrote down 127 goals which he wanted to accomplish in his lifetime.

Included in his goals were: climb Mounts Kilimanjaro, Ararat, Fuji, McKinley (and thirteen others); visit every country in the world; learn to fly an airplane; retrace the travels of March Polo and Alexander the Great; visit the North and South Poles, Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal (and other exotic areas); become an Eagle Scout; dive in a submarine; play flute and violin; publish an article in National Geographic magazine; learn French, Spanish and Arabic; milk a poisonous snake; read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica; and other goals, similar in variety and scope.

By age 47, Goddard had accomplished 103 of these goals and was in the process of completing several others. Goddard was neither wealthy nor gifted when he began his amazing saga of adventure and accomplishment. He was just a young boy who believed all things were possible and that he could accomplish his goals.

I wonder how many of those experiences he would have had if he had not formally expressed them as goals.

Goal setting is so beneficial. They clarify intent and focus resources. Without them, we may drift through life, accomplishing little.

Here are some guidelines for goal setting:

• Set goals in all major areas of life: financial, relational, physical, professional, spiritual, social, and intellectual.
• Write them down. It’s not sufficient to have them only in your mind; transcribe them into your journal or computer.
• Measure and review your progress, often. If you don’t measure your goals they will fall off the radar screen.
• Don’t bludgeon yourself if you don’t accomplish every goal. Partially completed goals can be very fulfilling because sometimes the journey is just as rewarding as arriving at the final destination.

What happens if you don’t set and pursue goals? You will most likely not reach your potential and you will underutilize your gifts and squander your resources. If you aim at nothing, you will hit it. Or, as Wayne Gretzky said, “You’ll miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.”

For the past 40 years I have designated the week between Christmas and New Years Day as a time to think about the previous 12 months and set goals for the next 12-18 months. Is is a simple process that has produced good results. I double-dog-dare you to give it a try.

“Que sera, sera. Whatever will be will be” is a cute song to sing but a lousy philosophy on which to build your life. Decide now that you are going to be a planner and that you will set and accomplish meaningful goals.

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