Don McMinn

As I write this post, it’s very hot outside. I live in Dallas where the temperature has hovered around 106° degrees for weeks. Yesterday, I had a bad, somewhat traumatic event.

I picked up my grandson from his basketball camp and was driving home on I35 when the traffic stopped due to an accident. We didn’t move for an hour. It was 107° degree. I drive a 16-year old car and it started started overheating. So every five minutes I turned the AC off and lowered the windows to let the engine cool (but made us hot), then turned the AC back on for five minutes, then repeated. There was no breeze. Large trucks were spewing their exhausts. We had no water in the car. 

It was a difficult experience, certainly the worst part of that day.

That evening I read the following words from neuroscientist and philosopher, Sam Harris. I wish I had read them the morning of my bad event.

“As you go about your day today, see if you can identify your lowest moment. The point in time where you are least happy, least in touch with how good your life is, or can be. Most agitated, or contracted, or worried… and in that moment see if you can bring to mind one thing that you are deeply grateful for. A relationship, or your health, or that you’re comparatively free of pain. 

“You might even use a negative visualization and reflect on how much worse life could be and think about all the people who would consider their prayers answered if they could trade places with you in that moment. Just think of what it would be like to lose everything and then be restored to the moment you’re now in, your lowest moment of the day, and see if you can transform your experience in this way. 

“You can almost always do this if you remember to do it. Because to have your health, even only sort of, and to have friends, even only a few, and to have hobbies and interests, and the freedom to pursue them, to have spent this day free from some terrifying encounter with chaos is to be blessed. So just look around you and take a moment to actually feel how blessed you are. 

“You get another day to live on this earth. Enjoy it.”

Perspective and attitude are powerful influencers and controllers of our experiences and lives. And we control both at all times.

 Yes, I was stuck in traffic and sweating, but: I have a car to drive (though it be old); I’m with my grandson whom I adore; I have a home and family to go home to (and the house has AC); I have family who are worried about our situation (thanks to cell phones).

Ben and I made it home safely that day.

Tomorrow, when life throws another dagger of disappointment, I’ll take Sam’s advice and reframe the experience, turning it into a reason to give thanks.

“One can’t lead unless he can leverage more than his own capabilities.”   Scully

There is a significant difference between an achiever and a leader.

• • • An achiever gets the job done.
    • A leader gets the job done through other people.

This is huge; don’t miss it.

Many people have honed their “get it done” skills; they live disciplined lives and accomplish immense amounts of work. They are achievers. Give them a job and they’ll get it done. I admire these people, but I don’t consider them leaders, because leaders accomplish work through others.

Peter Drucker illustrates this difference by challenging us to think of which pronouns we use when given work to do: “The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say ‘I.’ And that’s not because they have trained themselves not to say ‘I.’ They don’t think ‘I.’ They think ‘we’; they think ‘team.’ They understand their job to be to make the team function.”

When you are given an assignment or when you have a vision to fulfill, what is your first thought? “I can do that.” Or, “I need to put a team together.” As Drucker says, leaders think first of accomplishing work through their team. Leaders use plural pronouns when planning work.

No doubt, a good leader must also be an achiever—you must possess the skills necessary to accomplish tasks. When a leader doesn’t know how to get work done, he loses credibility with his team and progress suffers because he doesn’t understand how work is accomplished. So for a leader it’s not “I’m either an achiever or a leader” but “I am both an achiever and a leader.”

There’s even a difference between a leader and an achiever with helpers. Some high achievers will surround themselves with a group of assistants and helpers whose job is to help the achiever be more efficient, but this is still not the exercise of leadership. For instance, a dentist may have a staff that assists him in his work—a dental assistant, dental hygienist, receptionist, x-ray technician—but all the work centers around the dentist. A leader will empower others to conceptualize and perform work on their own.

The ability to get work done through other people is fundamental to leadership. In fact, if you’re not doing that, you’re not leading.

As you reflect on your past, have you functioned more as an achiever or a leader?

 

Traveling makes us better people. We learn a lot about ourselves, the friends we travel with, people we meet along the way, and other cultures. Travel is beneficial, even necessary.

The 2023 Travel with Friends trip to the British Isles is now history. It was a terrific time with 48 friends. Memorable memories are forever imprinted on our minds. To name a few:

• • London – Evensong in St. Paul’s cathedral, a Bach and Handel concert at St. Martin’s in the Fields, the National Gallery and a cruise on the Thames.
  • Portland, England – Stonehenge and Salisbury Cathedral.
  • Cork, Ireland – Titanic Museum and Blarney Castle.
  • Belfast, Northern Ireland – Giant’s Causeway and Dunlace Castle.
  • Glasgow, Scotland – Stirling Castle and the William Wallace Memorial.
  • Invergordon, Scotland – Cawdor Castle and Loch Ness.
  • Bruges, Belgium – the most beautiful medieval town in Europe.
  • France – beaches of Normandy, Monet’s home, Paris.

But the best part of the trip was spending time with fellow travelers.  Deep conversations during two-hour dinners; laughing so hard that our stomachs ached; helping and serving one another.

Here are a few pictures. A video will be coming soon.

Also, go to Travel With Friends – McMinn for more commentary and pictures.

Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

This post is about a specific compliment that could encourage someone for years, not just two months.

When booking a group of cabins on Princess Cruises my go-to agent is Tasheca. She’s diligent, resourceful, helpful, hardworking, productive, and pleasant. Last week at the end of one of our conversations I told her, “Tasheca you are the very best at what you do.”

At the church where I serve, Chris is our business administrator. He’s diligent, resourceful, helpful, hardworking, productive, and pleasant. I recently said to him, in front of our team, “Chris, you are the very best at what you do.”

I admire people who do their job well, workers who are among the best at what they do. When a trim carpenter, surgeon, travel agent, house cleaner, or waitperson, excel at their trade it’s because they have diligently worked at it. No one drifts into excellence.

One of the highest compliments you can speak to workers who excel is: “You are the very best at what you do.”

I realize that saying “you are the very best” is an overstatement. Technically, there can only be one “best” in the world at any specific trade. But in this case, it’s okay to exaggerate because everyone knows it’s hyperbolic but it’s a meaningful and kind exaggeration.

Don’t use this phrase flippantly or casually. Use it sparingly and only if it’s true and you are being genuine. We do people a disservice when we issue an undeserved compliment. And don’t use the phrase to manipulate people.

We should be generous in handing out compliments and words of affirmation. They don’t cost us a thing but can make a large and positive impact. We have an unlimited amount so giving them doesn’t deplete our supply.

In the next 24 hours, make someone’s day. Tell those who are deserving, “You are the very best at what you do.”

This scientist will help you live a better life

I have recently “discovered” the extremely talented and brilliant Andrew Huberman. He’s a neurobiologist, ophthalmologist, and professor at Stanford. He hosts the top health podcast in the U.S. He has a gift for making complicated topics easy to understand. Choose from many engaging topics at hubermanlab.com

Here’s a YouTube video featuring Huberman and Rich Roll.  It has 10 million views on YouTube. It is a good introduction to the mind of Huberman.