Notice, savor, and enjoy small, slow, and simple things

What beauty are we blind to? — Toby Ord

Thornton Wilder’s play, Our Town (for which he won a Pulitzer Prize), is about life in Grover’s Corners, a small town in New Hampshire. One of the main characters is Emily Webb. The play follows her from a precocious young girl through her wedding to George Gibbs, and her early death.

In act three, Emily returns from the afterlife and visits her hometown, wanting to relive one day—her 12th birthday. She joyfully watches her parents and some of the people of her childhood, but her joy soon turns to pain as she realizes how little people appreciate the simple joys of life. She realizes how every moment of life—particularly the small, simple, mundane aspects—should be treasured. 

When she visits her grave on the hill, she says, “Good-by, good-by, world. Good-by, Grover’s Corners…Mama and Papa. Good-by to clocks ticking…and Mama’s sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths…and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you’re too wonderful for anybody to realize you.” 

She then looks toward the stage manager and asks abruptly, through her tears, “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?—every, every minute” The stage manager replies, “No. The saints and poets, maybe—they do some.” The play ends.

I’m admonishing myself in this post. I like to stay busy: I always have a to-do list, I’m goal-oriented, I don’t like to waste time, and I’m inordinately time-sensitive. But I’m missing out on a lot of wonderful things in life. I need to recalibrate my life so that I notice and savor small, slow, and simple things that don’t cry out for my attention but will reward it. 

Things like: Buddy’s bark, Benjamin’s freckles, a perfectly shaped cluster of grapes, a well-tuned chord, holding Mary’s hand, a fresh blackberry, a perfectly still lake, a well-written phrase, a kind gesture, growing a plant from seed, the sound of thunder in the distance, the smell of a sliced lemon, gravity exerting its influence on a tomato plant.

Psychologist Carl Rogers noted, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” He advocated launching “fully into the stream of life.” Our lives will be richer if we embrace adjectives such as enriching, rewarding, awe-inspiring, meaningful, and yes—small, slow, and simple.

Having too much grit is often disadvantageous; sometimes we need to quit

A particular phrase from Winston Churchill’s iconic speech to the British Empire during WW2 is well-known and oft-quoted: “Never give in, never, never, never, never.” Most of us are not familiar with the rest of the sentence: “except to convictions of honor and good sense.”

Grit, tenacity, determination, perseverance…these traits have been lionized as foundational and unquestionably beneficial. We’re taught from an early age to “stick with it and don’t give up.” 

But often the best thing to do is to quit. So let’s add “the willingness to jettison” as a necessary and honorable character trait.

For instance: 

  • A Gallup poll found that 85 percent of workers were either “not engaged” with their work or “actively disengaged.” Why do these employees continue in a job they obviously don’t enjoy? 
  • Many college students declare a major before their freshman year. Halfway through their degree they realize that they don’t enjoy the subject and/or they’re not particularly good at it. But many persevere until they graduate and some even feel compelled to start their career in that field, often committing themselves to years of career-unhappiness. 
  • An entrepreneur will start a company that struggles for years, never getting traction or becoming profitable. But she won’t pull the plug.
  • A company will produce a product or service that fails from the start, but tenaciously and hopelessly hold onto it. 

I think there are two reasons we fall prey to this dilemma.

One, we yield to the sunk lost fallacy. Having invested time or money into something, we are hesitant to quit it because that would mean we would have wasted all that time and money (although they’re already lost). Often, the more we have invested and lost, the longer we persist in thinking it will work out.

Two, we were taught from an early age to never give up and to not renege on a promise or commitment. But sometimes the smartest and best thing to do is to stop in midstream and pursue something different. American computer scientist Paul Graham says, “We’ve all heard the theme of ‘don’t give up on your dreams.’ I know what that means, but this is a bad way to put it, because it implies you’re supposed to be bound by some plan you made early on. The computer world has a name for this: premature optimization. So instead of working back from a goal, work forward from promising situations. This is what most successful people actually do anyway. Instead of plan-and-implement, adopt a test-and-learn model.” 

As comedian W. C. Fields said, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” 

Don’s best of 2020 – book, meal, wine, travel experience, person, thought, concert, family member

I am grateful to God for my life, family, and friends. Here are a few memorable things about my life in A.D. 2020.

Book – Range – David Epstein 

Forbes called it, “The most important business—and parenting—book of the year.” Epstein examined the world’s most successful athletes, artists, musicians, inventors, forecasters and scientists. He discovered that in most fields—especially those that are complex and unpredictable—generalists, not specialists, are primed to excel. Generalists often find their path late, and they juggle many interests rather than focusing on one.

 

Meal – Oaxaca, Mexco

Oaxaca, Mexico is the culinary capitol of Mexico. Mary and I spent four days there, feasting at many excellent restaurants. The meals, Colonial architecture, pre-Hispanic ruins, and local artisans make this a destination I want to take my friends to.

 

Bottle of wine – my own wine

Three years ago I planted a small vineyard. On July 17, 2020, I harvested 123 pounds of Blanc Du Bois grapes at Brix 18, specific gravity – 1.085, PH – 3.2, TA – .75. I raised the Brix to 20 by adding 381 grams of sugar. I used .176 Premier Classique Montrachet yeast. The wine was bottled on September 18, 2020.

 

 

 

Travel experience -Israel

Every two years Chuck and Cynthia Swindoll lead a tour to Israel. It is an incomparable experience. I am blessed to lead worship on these trips. We went in March of this year, returning to the U.S. just 24 hours before international travel was shut down. Chuck’s next trip to Israel is March 6-17, 2022. 

 

Person of the year – Wayne Stiles

Wayne Stiles is a wonderful friend and colleague. He is a pastor, teacher, writer, entrepreneur, and friend to many. Five years ago he helped me start my blog site – Think With Me – and continues to come to my aid on technical issues. He has been posting spiritually refreshing devotionals online for many years. His newest project—Walking the Bible Lands—takes you on a virtual tour of the Holy Land through video and audio. You must check it out.

 

Most intriguing thought – How you think is more important than what you think.

I enjoy finding an interesting and challenging phrase and thinking deeply about it. I’ve been cogitating on this thought for years: How you think is more important than what you think because how you think will ultimately determine what you think. In 2021, I’m going to write a book about how to think clearly. I’ll address things we need to avoid (herd mentality, confirmation bias, brainwashing, illusory truth effect, false causality, etc.) and mental skills to develop (critical thinking, dialectic thinking, cognitive dissonance, analogical thinking, etc.). Many of my posts in 2021 will address this topic.   

Music concerts – Christmas at Stonebriar Community Church

This December, adhering to COVID safety protocols, my church split our choirs and orchestra into smaller ensembles, so we had multiple Christmas concerts this year. The musicians rose to the challenge. See the December 6, 13, and 20 concerts online.

New family member – Sunsage Huckleberry Fen

Four-month-old Fen (English Cocker Spaniel) joined the Clarkes’ family (my son-in-law and daughter) in December. He’s a bundle of energy, joy, and hope for the future.  

 

 

 

 

COVID-19

2020 was a difficult year for the human race. I am grateful that, so far, no one among my family and close friends has perished from the virus. My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones and to those who have been adversely affected financially and in their careers. Hopefully, in 2021 the virus will be controlled and we will adjust to the new normal. God will see us through this pandemic.  

 

I’ll end with this…

 

Books I read in 2020

The 5 best books I read this year

Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read

We’re teaching my six-year old grandson, Benjamin, to read. We started by teaching him the alphabet using the brilliant and famous A-B-C Song. Then we taught him how to write the alphabet using capital letters, then lower-case letters. Next came phonics. Then, we worked on ten sentences a day until he mastered each one. Finally, we reached the ultimate goal—Ben started reading. This was a three-year project.

I wanted Ben to learn to read early and well because we can learn anything in the world by reading and thinking deeply about what we have read. If we can read, all the knowledge of the world is available to us. What an incredible gift.

But the incredible gift is squandered if we don’t read. Mark Twain’s observed, “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” 

Said another way, those who are literate, but don’t read, have no advantage over those who are illiterate.

There was an extended time in my life when I didn’t read  books. I finished my Ph.D. when I was 27 years old and for the next 20 years I didn’t read anything except newspapers and magazines. Perhaps I was burned out (graduate degrees require a lot of reading), or lacked curiosity.

About 20 years ago I decided to start reading books regularly, and I’ve sustained that commitment since.

Here’s a list of books I read in 2020. At the bottom of the list I’ve enumerated my top five books of the year.  

The numbers in brackets represent how I rate each book on a scale from 1 (not good) to 10 (exceptional).

January

    1. Superbugs – The Race to Stop an Epidemic – Matt McCarthy, 2019, 258 pages [8] – A fascinating journey into the world of medical scientists who develop bacteria-resistant antibiotics. Who would have thought that this topic would become the most talked about subject in the world in 2020.
    2. Educated – Tara Westover – 2018, 332 pages [9] – Tara was born into an ultra-fundamentalist religious family in which medical doctors and formal education were anathema. At age 27 she received a PhD from Cambridge. This is her story.
    3. The New Medicine – What Is Helpful? What Is Hype? – 2019, 96 pages [7] – A compilation of articles from the New York Times. An update on CBD, mindfulness, exercise, food, etc.

February

    1. 10% Happier – Dan Harris – 2014, 242 pages [7] – Harris, a news correspondent for ABC News, tells the story of his discovery of the benefits of meditation. Colorful writing, but if you primarily want to know more about meditation, there are better books.  
    2. Probability for Dummies – Deborah Rumsey – 2026, 360 pages [7] – I had not studied statistics since college, so I wanted to refresh my thoughts on probability.

March

    1. Wave – Sonali Deraniyagala – 2013, 215 pages [6] – The author experienced the 2004 tsunami that hit Sri Lanka. She lost her parents, husband, and sons.
    2. White Fang – JackLondon – 1992 Wordsworth Edition [6] – I read this as a child, and it still speaks to me as an adult. It makes me love my dog, Buddy, even more.
    3. The Art of Thinking Clearly – Rolf Dobelli – 2013, 306 pages [8] – He describes 89 faulty ways of thinking that we all succumb to. 
    4. Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart – Mark Epstein – 1998, 181 pages [7] – Lessons on how meditation and psychotherapy can help manage our powerful emotions and our lives.

April

    1. A History of the World in 6 Glasses – 2005, 290 pages [8] – A fascination history of the world centered around beer, wine, spirits, coffee, tea, and cola. 

May

    1. Grapevine Disorders – A Pocket Guide for Growers in Texas – 2019, 165 pages [7] – My vineyard is now three years old; I need help in keeping the plants healthy. 
    2. The Splendid and the Vile – Eric Larson – 2020, 501 pages [8] – Focuses on Churchill’s leadership during several years of WW2. Well written and engaging.
    3. Range – Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World — David Epstein – 2019, 291 pages [9] – A deeply impactful and well-researched book. It affirmed my desire to be a generalist in life. A must-read.

June

    1. First You Have to Row a Little Boat – Reflections on life and living – Richard Bode – 1993, 182 pages [7] – Bode grew up in New England and learned to sail as a child. Later in life he wrote this book about life-lessons learned from sailing. 
    2. The Backyard Vintner – Jim Law – 2005, 164 pages [7] – A practical book that is helping me plan my first harvest. 
    3. The Fire Next Time – James Baldwin – 1962, 106 pages [6] – Written during the Civil-rights movement, the book offers a historical context for the current Black Lives Matter movement.

July

    1. The Precipice – Toby Ord – 2020, 460 pages [8.5] – Ord discusses the existential threats that could cause humanity to become extinct, both natural causes and anthropogenic causes. Very readable and engaging.
    2. Blueprint – how DNA makes us who we are – Robert Plomin, 2018, 200 pages [7.5] – 99% of our DNA is the same for all humans. Plomin focuses on the 1% that makes us who we are. By necessity, there’s a lot of science in the book which makes it challenging for a lay-person.
    3. Transcend—The New Science of Self-Actualization – Scott Kaufman, 2020, 309 pages [8.5] – Part biography of the famous psychologist – Abraham Maslow – and an update on the principles he espoused. It’s not an easy read but well worth it.

September

    1. A Universe From Nothing – Lawrence Krauss – 191 pages [8] – A succinct update (as of 2012) of what physicists and cosmologist know about the universe.
    2. Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind – Shunryu Suzuki, 1970, 148 pages [6] – I want to know more about mindfulness, but I had difficulty understanding this book.
    3. The Falcon of Sparta – Conn Iggulden, 2019, 433 pages [8] – Iggulden writes historrical fiction focusing on the ancient Greeks, Romans, and Persians. I learn a lot from his books. If you want to read his works, start with The Emperor Series book one – The Gates of Rome. 

October

    1. Caste – The Origins of our Discontents – Isabel Wilkerson – 2020 – 377 pages [8] – The Pulitzer-winning author advances a sweeping argument for regarding American racial bias through the lens of caste. Drawing analogies from the social orders of modern India and Nazi Germany, she frames barriers to equality in a provocative new light.

November

    1. Borges And Me – Jay Parini – 2020 – 299 pages [8] – In 1970, while a Ph.D. student at St. Andrews in Scotland, Parini spent two weeks with the great writer/scholar from Argentina – Jorge Luis Borges. This is the story of their time together.
    2. Arguing with Zombies – Economics, Politics, and the Fight for a Better Future – Paul Krugman – 2020 – 414 pages [8] – The left-leaning Nobel Prize winning economists shares insights into a broad range of topics: Obamacare, the Euro, macroeconomics, tax cuts, trade wars, climate change, media, and others. 

December

    1. Deepfakes – Nina Schick – 2020 – 222 pages [7] – Good insight into our current age of misinformation and disinformation. Fake news is just the tip of the deception-iceberg.
    2. A History of the World In 100 Objects – Neil MacGregor – 2010 – 584 pages [7] –  McGregor is Director of the British Museum. He tells the history of the world using 100 objects from the museum. A clever and insightful approach to history.

The best books I read in 2020 [See above for a description of each book]

      • Range – Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World – David Epstein
      • Transcend – The New Science of Self-Actualization – Scott Kaufman
      • The Precipice – Toby Ord
      • The Splendid and the Vile – Eric Larson
      • Educated – Tara Westover 

Warren Bennis says, “One of the marvelous things about life is that any gaps in your education can be filled, whatever your age or situation, by reading, and thinking about what you read.”