Year: 2018

Things won are done; joy’s soul lies in the doing. Shakespeare

I’ve always been an advocate of goal-setting, for two reasons. Setting and achieving goals leads to progress; it makes us effective. If you aim at nothing you will always hit it. People who don’t set goals often just meander through life. Their lives resemble the movement of a ball in a pinball machine—randomly ricocheting from one stop to another and then finally dropping out of sight.  

Another benefit of setting and working toward goals is that the process we go through to accomplish goals gives our lives meaning.

Psychologist Richard Davidson identifies “pre-goal attainment positive affect” which is the pleasurable feeling you get as you make progress toward a goal, and “post-goal attainment positive affect” which comes once you have achieved your goal. The feeling of the latter is contentment, but it is fleeting and short-lived. The feeling of the former is progress and it can be consistent and longer lasting. 

In his must-read book The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt writes, “Set for yourself any goal you want. Most of the pleasure will be had along the way, with every step that takes you closer. The final moment of success is often no more trilling than the relief of taking off a heavy backpack at the end of a long hike. We can call this ‘the progress principle’: Pleasure comes more from making progress toward goals than from achieving them” (page 84).

The pleasure and happiness derived from the journey can be enjoyed even if the goal is mundane and even insignificant. For instance, I’m finding great joy in planting a small vineyard in East Texas. It will never be financially rewarding and the wine will not be notable (it’s difficult to produce great wine in North Texas), but I have thoroughly enjoyed planning the project and making it happen. Three years from now, when I bottle my first vintage, I’m sure we’ll celebrate, but the consistent joy will have been in the journey. [I started the vineyard in March of 2018. See below for pictures taken July 2018.]

Interestingly, the journey can be rewarding even if you don’t achieve the goal. I’ve read about entrepreneurial startups that did not work but provided an enjoyable and beneficial experience for those who were involved in the process.

So, I ask my readers: What are you working on? What goals are you pursuing? Enjoy the journey.

[reminder]What are your thoughts about this essay?[/reminder]

Don’s Vineyard, July 2018

Culture is the sum of the values, beliefs, and norms of behavior of a group of people. 

We all live in multiple cultures. For example, I live in a national culture (U.S.), a regional culture (Texas), the organization I work for has a culture, as does my church, family, and neighborhood.  

Culture is powerful. Like the strong current of a wide and deep river, it is often unseen but it is forceful and hard to counter. 

Only by visiting “foreign” cultures are we aware of our own. As children, we’re unaware of our family’s culture until we spend time at a friend’s house. Only by traveling to other countries do we understand our own country’s culture. (Yet another reason to travel internationally.)  

There are positive and negative aspects of all cultures.

Mary and I recently visited Peru. (I highly recommend it.) I noticed these positive expressions of culture:

• • In Lima, our tour guide casually mentioned that Peruvians don’t smoke. Indeed, throughout our eight-day visit I seldom saw a cigarette. Smoking is not outlawed and there’s not been a campaign against it. Why do they abstain from smoking? It’s just not part of their culture.
  • The towns and cities in Peru are clean—there’s no trash or litter. Even small, poor, rural villages are neat. There’s no law against littering, they just don’t do it. 
  • The people are kind, gentle, and accommodating. I never heard a harsh word or sensed unkindness.   

I also observed some negative cultural tendencies.

• • Peruvians are trapped in unnecessary and tedious bureaucratic processes. For instance, there was a long line to get a ticket to a second-tier museum. When it was my turn to purchase a ticket (only $3 US), I realized why: I had to show my passport, the agent filled out a form in triplicate, ran it off on a dot-matrix printer, and then summarily stamped each copy with an official stamp. All that effort to let one person in a public, easily accessible area.  
  • Most Peruvians are Catholic, which is not surprising because when the Spanish invaded their land they gave them two choices: convert to Catholicism or be executed. But, some people still adhere to Inca beliefs, one of which is: the water-god is stronger than the sun-god because every evening the sun-god is defeated by the water-god as it is extinguished by the ocean (the sun setting in the west). 

Leaders: What are some positive and negative aspects of your organization’s culture?

The best time to establish culture in an organization is at its beginning.

Both my daughter and son-in-law are serial entrepreneurs. Recently, they each started a new business—one in the medical field, the other in environmental sustainability. Their businesses have no culture because they are new. The best time for them to establish positive cultural distinctives is now, while the “clay is soft.” Priorities like good customer service, innovation, and excellence can be easily imbedded into the DNA of an organization when it is new.  

It’s difficult to change the culture of a large and/or old organization.

One of the great challenges of leadership is to change the culture of an existing organization, particularly one that is large and old. If the culture is healthy and effective, there’s no need to change, just be sure to hire team members who are a good fit. But if you want to change the culture, be ready for a long, bumpy ride. You will want to hire team members who already embody the values, beliefs, and norms of behavior that you aspire to develop in the organization. Prepare to “swim against the current” for a long time and anticipate resistance. 

Leaders: your job is to establish and maintain a healthy culture in your organization. Be proactive in that responsibility. 

Parents: every family has a culture; make sure yours is healthy and beneficial. Here are some examples: we will acknowledge and affirm the uniqueness of each family member; we will prioritize travel; we will encourage open dialogue and intellectual pursuit; we will be a family of faith; we will maintain a positive atmosphere.

[reminder]What are your thoughts about this essay?[/reminder]

I am a Stoic by nature and by choice. I choose to view life, primarily, through the lens of rationality instead of emotionality. When reflecting on any given moment in time I am comfortable with the phrase “it is what it is.” So I seldom weep. (Here’s a brief summary of stoicism.)

But several weeks ago I was driving down Highway 175 heading to my vineyard, listening to a podcast, and upon hearing a particular story, I felt a swelling in my chest and throat, and I started to weep.

That got me thinking. What makes me cry, and why?

• When I see pictures of starving children in third world countries, I don’t weep, I get angry.
• When I experience loss, I usually become quiet and withdrawn.
• When I watch a romantic comedy (which is seldom) I want to gag on a spoon, not cry.

I have, however, identified two situations which stir me deeply.

1. When I observe a common, ordinary person extending a simple act of kindness to someone and that action brings about a significant transformation in the person’s life. For instance, my favorite movie scene is in the 1978 version of Les Miserables. When Jean Valjean is caught stealing silver flatware from a priest, he is arrested. When the priest is asked to testify against him, the priest says, “Jean, I’m glad you remembered to take the silver pieces I gave you.” This act of grace changes his life. Another example is the incident that changed Desmond Tutu’s life (click here for the story).
2. When a highly capable and productive person demonstrates true humility and is self-effacing. (See my post titled “Have more behind the counter than you put on the shelf”.) 

I recently asked my staff the question, “What makes you cry?”; everyone’s answer was unique. 

Discovering what stirs you deeply will give you keen insight into your identity and your values. It’s one of many ways in which you have been “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

[reminder]This begs the question, “What makes you cry?” [/reminder]

My granddaughter, Marin, recently graduated from high school. At her commencement I heard the following story. I’m not sure what to think of it. What do you think? 

During a momentous battle, a Japanese general decided to attack the enemy even though his army was greatly outnumbered. He was confident they could win, but his men were filled with doubt. On the way to the battle, they stopped at a religious shrine. After praying to the gods, the general took out a coin and said, “I will now toss this coin. If it is heads, we will win. If tails, we will lose. Destiny will now reveal itself.”

He threw the coin into the air and all watched intently as it landed. It was heads. The soldiers were so overjoyed and filled with confidence that they vigorously attacked the enemy and were victorious. After the battle, a lieutenant remarked to the general, “It is true; no one can change destiny.”

“Quite right,” the general replied as he showed the lieutenant the coin, which had heads on both sides.

We can put a positive spin on this story:

• It’s important to be optimistic and confident in life.
• If you believe in yourself, you can accomplish great things. 
• If you believe that a higher power is on your side, you can accomplish anything.
• Leaders must engender faith and hope among followers.
• Manipulating people for a good cause is acceptable.  

Or we can consider the downside:

• This story is about a charismatic leader manipulating the emotions of his followers. That’s unacceptable. 
• The general won the battle, but he lied to his men in the process. That’s unacceptable.  
• If the soldiers discovered the general’s trick, would they ever trust him again?
• How many leaders are just tricking us into doing what they want us to do?

I would enjoy hearing your thoughts.

For sure, if I’m ever asked to give a commencement speech, I won’t use this illustration.

[reminder]What are your thoughts about this essay?[/reminder]

[callout]Here’s a terrific article on how to choose a good teacher by Adam Grant, published in the New York Times.[/callout]