I’ve learned a new phrase that comes in handy when I’m inordinately or unnecessarily worried about a mistake I made. I learned it from my friend Jason.
One day we were talking about a mistake that happened in one of our worship services (we started a song in two different keys). I was obsessing about it when Jason said, “Don, don’t worry about it; no one died.”
If an air-traffic controller, surgeon, or pilot makes a mistake, someone can die. But most of us work in jobs where mistakes are not fatal or permanent. Embarrassing perhaps, but not life-altering.
I’m not, of course, suggesting that we be flippant about making mistakes; we should always be careful and do our best. But sometimes we need to give ourselves and others grace. Sometimes it’s okay just to admit that a mistake was made, analyze why it happened so it won’t be repeated, and then drop the issue and carry on.
When you flub up, are you too hard on yourself? Or too easy? Are you too hard on other people when they make a mistake, or do you extend grace?
Inevitably, errors happen, so put them in proper perspective.
Two video series I highly recommend
Most nights, Mary and I end the day watching video shows together. It’s relaxing and enjoyable. We recently finished two shows on Netflix that we totally enjoyed: S.W.A.T (about the Los Angeles police team), and All the Light We Cannot See (the book by Anthony Door won the Pulitzer Prize and is now a four-part video series.) The story takes place in WW2. The protagonist is a 12 year old girl who is blind. Watch and enjoy.
I have been using the “nobody died” phrase for years. When working in childcare I did have to use it sensitively but it definitely helps take the sting out of a mistake. Another useful phrase, when fretting about a secondary concern, is “we won’t even remember this in 3 years time.” However for significant issues, we need to learn from our mistakes and deal with any relationships that have been damaged and need repairing. In Edinburgh there is a Library of Mistakes to help prevent future financial mistakes following the crises if 1929 and 2008. See also 1 Corinthians 10 v 11.
Hi Angela. I love the phrase “we won’t even remember this in 3 years.”
You’ve probably heard the phrase “dance like no one is watching.” I read an extension to that phrase: “Because so one is…”
It’s almost refreshing. We take ourselves too seriously.
Thanks for your responses; I value them.
Would you please let me know if you get this response from me? I’m having some issues with WordPress.
Kind regards,
Don
Hi Don
Just returned to this post, having read today’s one and saw you had received and answered my comment however I didn’t receive any emails with comments. Perhaps it’s in the emails that the problem has occurred.
Best wishes
Angela
Angela, thanks for bringing this to my attention. I ask the web master that helps me. He said those who respond need to check a box that says they want to see my reply and then they are sent an email to confirm their desire to share responses. Did you do those two things? By the way…I have responded to every reply you’ve made to my posts. I value them a lot,
Don
All the Light We Cannot See was a fabulous book!
Please change my email address to: [email protected]
I look forward to receiving your messages in my new inbox!
Lori, I changed your email to the outlook account.
Another great novel is A Gentleman from Moscow. A great non-fiction book is How To Know a Person by Brooks.
Isn’t a joy to read.
Take care,
Don