Don McMinn

Reading is a gift. We read for the joy and benefit of thinking another person’s thoughts. Here are five books that I thoroughly enjoyed reading last year. 

Life After Power – Jared Cohen

Having once been the most powerful person in the world, what does a former U.S. President do after leaving office? Is it possible to make a significant impact on history as a past-president? Jared Cohen tells the post-presidency stories of seven former presidents: Thomas Jefferson, John Quincy Adams, Grover Cleveland, William Taft, Herbert Hoover, Jimmy Carter, and George W. Bush.

This engaging history book gives insight into what the next chapter of our lives can look like. It encourages us to have the attitude, “Live till you die.”  

An Inspector Calls – J.B. Priestley

An Inspector Calls is a modern morality play written by English dramatist J. B. Priestley. First performed in the Soviet Union in 1945 and at the New Theatre in London the following year, the play is a three-act drama which takes place on a single night on April 5, 1912. 

It is considered required reading in England and should be in American schools. It is a lesson on the effects of an individual’s actions over a passage of time.

The plot: A prosperous manufacturer is hosting a family dinner party to celebrate his daughter’s engagement. Into this joyous scene comes a brusque police inspector investigating the suicide of a young working-class woman. Under interrogation, every member of the family turns out to have a shameful secret that links them to her death.

Decisive – Chip and Dan Heath

The Heath brothers (both academic scholars) have co-authored four books: Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die (2007), Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard (2010), Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work (2013), and The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact (2017).

Their thoughts are clear and concise and they use lots of good examples and illustrations. I love it when brilliant people write in such a way that the rest of us can understand. The lessons are applicable both in corporate settings and in our individual lives. They suggest four obstacles to making good decisions:

• • • narrow framing (not thinking about enough options)
    • confirmation bias in gathering information
    • overweighting short-term emotions (such as discomfort or fear)
    • overconfidence

And offer three solutions:

• • • emphasize gathering diverse opinions
    • consider alternate options
    • test assumptions to reach more informed conclusions

Table for Two – Amor Towles

My favorite novel of the decade is Amor Towles A Gentleman in Moscow. His most recent book is a collection of six short stories that take place in New York City and Los Angeles. Three of these stories: The Line, Hasta Luego, and I Will Survive took my breath away and lingered in my mind for weeks.

Towles has keen insight into the human condition and at times his prose reads like poetry. His stories are informative,  thought-provoking, and entertaining. 

The New Girl – Daniel Silva

Silva is a novelist who writes intriguing stories that are based on current day situations. This book features Gabriel Allon, the head of Israeli intelligence, and Khalid bin Mohammed, the crown prince of Saudi Arabia. It blends fictionalized versions of actual recent events, such as the killing of dissident journalist Jamal Khashoggi in a foreign embassy. It explores themes of hatred between Muslim sects, and the Arab-Israeli conflict. 

I read it while on a recent trip to Istanbul, Athens, and the Balkan coast. Suddenly, I saw spies and hit-men everywhere. It’s hard to put down.

Read one good book a month this year and you’ll be a better, happier, more well-rounded, and informed person.

When I first started my career as a minister, a friend gave me some good advice about maintaining a healthy balance of three types of relationships: takers, balanced, and givers. 

“Don, there are some relationships that will constantly drain you; you’re always giving to them but they seldom give to you. These are takers. You can’t totally avoid them (particularly in the ministry) but if they represent the majority of your relationships, you’ll burn out and lose all hope for humankind.

“In other relationships there will be a nice reciprocity; you give to them and they give to you. These associations are normal, healthy, and balanced.

“You’ll also have a few relationships in which people generously give to you with no thought of return; they will give more to you than you will give to them. Accept their magnanimity.” 

In life, it’s important to have a healthy balance of these three relationship-types. If you only have “takers” they will drain you dry. Balanced relationships, in which there is a mutual giving and receiving, should be the dominate type. And be extremely grateful if you have those rare friends who delight in freely and unconditionally giving to you with no thought of return.

I think I can live a reasonably sane life if I maintain a ratio of 30/60/10 (30% of my relationships are takers, 60% are balanced, 10% are givers).

For a moment, consider what type of person you are to other people. 

• • • Are you primarily a taker; high-maintenance and selfish? 
    • Or do you strive to maintain balance in your relationships—you’re sensitive about the give and take ratio of relationships and work toward equilibrium.  
    • Name several adult relationships in which you are, by choice, the primary giver. 

I now express deep appreciation to these people in my life who have given more to me than I have given to them: Dean F., Mike F., David H., Wayne S., Chuck S., Ruth M., David F., and others. 

One hundred and nine years ago, on Christmas Eve, something very unusual happened on the outskirts of Paris. Think with me for a moment, about the miraculous Christmas Truce of 1914.

On August 1, 1914, Germany declared war on Russia. Two days later, Germany declared war on France and immediately sent its army to capture and occupy Paris. 

Forty three miles outside of Paris, the German army was stopped at the battle of Marne. That area soon became one of the main battlegrounds of WW1. It was called the Western front—a  400-mile battle line that stretched from Switzerland through France and Belgium to the North Sea.

The Germans were on the eastern side, the French and Belgiums on the western side and a no-man’s-zone was between the two sides. In places along the front the German and French trenches were only 50 yards apart. It was a brutal battleground — hand-to-hand combat in muddy trenches. The soldiers often fought with mustard gas and bayonets. Progress by either side was very slow—measured by yards not miles.

Late on Christmas Eve, 1914, just five months after the war began, one of the most unusual events in the history of modern warfare took place on the Western Front. Members of the French army heard German soldiers singing Christmas carols from their trenches. Soon, the French and Belgium soldiers joined in, and all night long both sides sang Christmas carols together.

Early the next morning, on Christmas Day, soldiers came out of their trenches into the no-man’s-zone and began visiting, exchanged gifts, and even played soccer together. Instead of fighting and killing one another, they found and enjoyed the common bonds that unite all humans—prompted by the message and traditions of Christmas. 

It was a spontaneous and undeclared truce. It was called the Christmas Truce of 1914, and It happened at many locations along the 400-mile Western Front.

Sadly, 24 hours later, the truce was over. The troops returned to their trenches, loaded their weapons, and resumed the war. The war on the Western Front lasted for another three and a half years, until the war ended. During those years, twenty million people were killed (10 million soldiers and 10 million civilians) and 21 million people were wounded.

The Christmas Truce of 1914…only lasted one day.

What lessons can we learn from this unusual event in history, that started well but ended abruptly? 

1. Peace among men is rare and fleeting.

In the original Christmas story, as recorded in the Bible, an angelic hosts announced Jesus’ birth to a group of shepherds. The angels proclaimed, “Glory to God in the highest. And on earth, peace and goodwill among men.”

But where’s the peace promised at the birth of Christ? Were the angels just being overly optimistic when they proclaimed peace on earth? Were they just caught up in the joy and ecstasy of the moment? 

If we’re not careful, we may misinterpret the angels’ promise of peace, because in the history of mankind, there has never been sustained peace on earth.

• • • For instance, there has always been war between nations. Wars and rumors of war. Historians generally agree that there has never been a time in human history that there wasn’t a war being waged somewhere on earth. Today, wars are taking their toll in Ukraine, Russia, between Israel and Hamas, South Sudan, Syria, and Yemen.
    • And, there is no peace even in our own government. Not since the Civil War has our nation been so politically divided and fractious.  
    • And, day-by-day, our personal relationships are strained. Arguments, bitterness, and unforgiveness are pervasive. 

So where’s the peace?

I think the answer to what seems to be misinformation, can be explained by the difference between collective peace and individual peace. 

Collective peace is peace among groups of people – among nations, states, religious groups, and tribes. But sustained peace among people-groups will not occur until we all, someday, stand before Christ, the Prince of Peace, and He rules the nations on earth.

But individual peace is available to each of us – now and at all times. Isaiah referred to this personal peace when he said “You Lord, will give perfect peace to those whose minds are focused on you and trust in you.” Jesus told his disciples that in the world you will have tribulation, but in me you can have peace.

So while peace among men is rare and fleeting, our personal peace with God can be assured and constant.  

Another lesson to be learned is that we can and should:

2. Extend the spirit of Christmas to every day of the year. 

It’s been said that Christmas Day is the only day of the year when most people are kind and civil toward one another. At Christmas we’re more thoughtful, kind, generous, less self-centered, more compassionate and grateful, more aware of beauty, and we spend time with people we love. 

Could it be that our celebration of Christmas could serve as a reminder of how we should treat one another the other 364 days of the year. If so, Christmas would be an annual recalibration of our thoughts, priorities, and behaviors.

If the soldiers had extended the Christmas truce, 20 million fatalities could have been avoided.

Another lesson to learn from the Christmas Truce of 1914 :

3. Do not underestimate the positive impact that peaceful moments can have on our lives.

Those soldiers on Christmas Eve, 1914 did have peace for 24 hours. Yes, it was temporary, but it was real and impactful. Those hours must have been cathartic and wonderful.  It gave immediate relief from the stress and trauma of war and gave hope of what peace could look and feel like. 

In like manner, in our lives, sometimes a break—even a short break—can be immensely helpful. It can be like a cup of cool water on a parched throat. It can give us the strength to carry on.

Let’s pray that this Christmas, and in the coming months and years, we will use the Christmas story to set the standard for the pursuit of peace in our personal relationships and in our world.

At the end of the day, we typically begin casual conversations by asking “What did you do today?” Another good question is, “What did you learn today?” 

Everyone has a quick answer to the first question, even if it’s just “not much.” But most of us would stumble over the second question because we seldom consider learning to be a daily function. We’d be confused by the question and hard-pressed to answer. 

But if asked regularly, the question can serve as a reminder  that throughout life and in all settings,  we can, and should, continually learn.

We have much to learn.

“We all differ in what we know, but in infinite ignorance, we are all equal.” Karl Popper

Few things will stifle learning more than intellectual arrogance accompanied by a false sense of knowing-it-all. Sadly, some people live as if they have maxed out their learning—there’s little more to learn, do, or become. Instead, we should view ourselves as unfinished—a work in progress. We all live in what Popper calls the realm of “infinite ignorance.” A healthy, proper approach to learning is predicated upon a deep humility based on the fact that we know and understand so little.

Imagine a grain of rice inside a five-gallon bucket. The grain of rice represents what you currently know; the space in the bucket represents what you could learn.

Develop an enquiring mind; be curious.

But admitting that we have a lot to learn is not enough, we must have a curious, inquiring mind. 

Albert Einstein once said, “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” I think he was being excessively modest in the first phrase, but notice his emphasis on curiosity in the second. An engaged, curious mind is supple, eager, and insatiable.

Learn from other people.

Secondhand knowledge allows us to benefit from what others have learned. What may have taken someone years to learn (and often through formidable adversity), we can learn quickly and painlessly. One way to do this is to read other people’s thoughts—read 30 minutes a day and think about what you read. Another way to learn from others is through observation and intentional conversation. Lean by listening to and observing others. We can learn from anyone, regardless of their background, education, age, or occupation. 

Learn from your own experiences.

Firsthand knowledge comes from personal experiences. Every day, life offers us the opportunity for continuing education. But we’ll only learn if we’re attentive and wanting to learn. The next time you go shopping or eat at a restaurant, or mow your lawn, anticipate that you’re going to learn something and you will. 

Years ago I developed a simple equation to express how we can learn from experiences: the 10/60/30 concept. This notion suggests that in all of life’s experiences you should devote a certain percentage of your time to three elements: anticipate (perhaps 10%), experience (perhaps 60%), and reflect (perhaps 30%). The percentages can be adjusted for different activities.

For instance:

• • When reading a book—spend a few minutes anticipating what you hope to learn from the book, read the book, and then reflect on what you have learned. This ration might be 5/60/35.
  • Prior to a business appointment—think about what you hope to accomplish in the meeting, have the meeting, and then reflect on what transpired and the next steps of action. These percentages might be 15/65/20.
  • Prior to a vacation—research where you’re going, bon voyage, and at the end of each day codify your thoughts in a journal.  These percentages might be 10/70/20.

Tonight, during dinner, ask everyone to share what they learned today. It will prompt interesting conversation.

Let me ask you, “What did you learn today?” Try to have an answer to that question every day.