Your environment may be limiting your growth

There is a species of fish – the Japanese carp, known as the Koi – that will grow in size only in proportion to the size of the body of water it is in. When placed in a small aquarium the fish will grow to be two or three inches long. If placed in a larger tank, it will grow to six to ten inches. When placed in a large lake, it can reach its full size of two or three feet in length.

In like manner, your environment can inhibit and limit your personal growth and development. It may be the job you’re in—although you feel secure and the work is tolerable, you’re stuck in a mind-numbing environment and your head is hitting the proverbial glass ceiling. It may be the town you live in—the provincial mentality is stifling. The friends you associate with may be stymying—you may need a more intellectually invigorating group.

But the right environment can stimulate your growth and help you reach your potential. Fortunately, you do have control over this dimension of life; you can choose where you work, you can move to a city that inspires you, and you can choose friends that will stretch you.

To illustrate this idea, I’ll use two of my family members.

After graduating from college, my daughter, Lauren, made some bold moves that placed her in a “large pond.” First, she moved from a small college town in Texas to New York City. She got a nice and adequate job, but after working there for a few years, she realized she needed a greater challenge, so she went to work at American Express. Soon, AMEX moved her to Singapore for a year, then back to NYC. In the meantime, she completed a master’s degree from Columbia. Can you sense the mix of challenges, thrills, fear, insecurities and joys involved in making these moves? But she grew a lot during those years.

My son-in-law, Jonathan, is a board certified emergency room physician. He has served two tours-of-duty in the Navy. One of his tours of duty was at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan–at that time, the busiest trauma center in the world. He saw more and learned more in nine months than some physicians would see and learn in a lifetime here in the states. He got into a large pond.

Don’t underestimate the courage it takes to change environments and the effort it takes to adjust to a new one. It can be intimidating and challenging. You may even fail. But it’s worth the risk and effort. Life is too short to waste; it’s not a dress rehearsal, and it’s the only one you get.

You don’t want this written on your tombstone: Died, 55 years old; buried, 70 years old.

Sometimes we’re responsible for solving a problem, not because we caused the problem but because we’re the only one in a position to fix it.

Image result for One day son all this will be yours cartoon | New yorker cartoons, Cartoon, Monster board

A friend of mine became Senior Pastor at a large church. The church had a crushing debt; it was near bankruptcy. He was not responsible for creating the financial debacle, but from the day he became Pastor he was responsible for cleaning it up.   

Another friend has a son that made some stupid mistakes. As a father, he’ll be involved in working through the challenges.

In the course of life, we’ll become responsible for finding solutions to problems we did not create. Sometimes, we’ll have a choice whether or not to accept the challenge (like my pastor friend), but often we won’t (like my friend whose son made poor choices).

It takes firm resolve, optimism, and tenacity to stay the course in these situations—my friend pastored the financially troubled church for 20 years. It is also a deep expression of love: to suffer with a person or group of people in this way is an act of unselfish, even sacrificial love.  

Christ is the personification of what I’m talking about in this post.

Join me on an incredible trip to Italy, Greek Isles, and Istanbul – September 23-October 7

This afternoon (April 17) Mary and I left on a transatlantic cruise onboard Celebrity Reflections.

It’s the same ship that we’ll be on this September when we host a Travel with Friends trip to Italy, Greek Isles, and Istanbul.

I’ll take plenty of pictures of the ship and our time in Rome (where we start the fall trip), and post them online mid May.

The  trip this fall (limited to 40 people) will be a trip-of-a-lifetime.

Here’s information about the trip Travel with Friends – 2022-Brochure.

Questions? Email me at [email protected]

Spotlight syndrome – don’t let people manipulate what you focus on

Imagine that you’re in a dark auditorium and suddenly a spotlight is turned on. It is bright and clearly illumines the area it shines on. But it’s a limited area and someone is controlling where you are looking. In a subtle way, you’re being manipulated.

Here’s why.

A spotlight has a narrow focus.

Though a spotlight does illuminate reality, it only reveals a small part of reality—your attention is drawn to, but limited to, a narrow range. In a dark space, you’re essentially blinded to all the space other than what the spotlight’s beam shines on.

The direction of a spotlight is determined by someone else.

Someone (the spotlight operator or the director) has predetermined what the light will focus on; someone else has determined what you will see. In essence, you are being manipulated. When there is ample general lighting, you can choose what you want to focus on, but in a darkened room where there’s only one beam of light, your focus is determined by others.

Now let’s apply these thoughts to life outside the theatre. In life and leadership be aware of, and beware of, those times when you are asked to “follow the spotlight.”

Sometimes in life we’re manipulated into focusing on a particular issue to the exclusion of others.

  • When you listen to a news broadcast, the topics have been decided in advance and are usually presented in a biased way.
  • In a meeting that has an agenda, someone has predetermined what issues will be discussed and which issues will be unaddressed.
  • In conversations, someone may consciously or unconsciously choose the topics that are discussed.
  • Leaders, someone walks into your office to solicit your approval of a particular project or expense. Before responding, consider the other departments in your organization; they may have an equally compelling need but they haven’t approached you about it. Give everyone equal opportunity.

We should develop an awareness of when and how our attention is being hijacked and then strive to see the larger picture.

Leaders, understand the power of this principle and use it for the good of your organization; don’t abuse it or let others abuse it. Keep your eye on the entire organization which will enhance overall organizational health and maintain balance and fairness. Don’t fall prey to the spotlight syndrome or cause it.