Don McMinn

My grandson, Benjamin (seven years old), learned how to read this year. I am so happy for him because he now has access to the world’s knowledge. He can learn anything he wants to. I hope he will be a lifelong lover of books. (I’ve bequeathed my library to him.)

If you’re not a reader, make that your number one goal for 2022. Reading just one good book a month will change your life.

Here are the books I read in 2021. The numbers in brackets represent how I rate each book on a scale from 1 (not good) to 10 (exceptional).

January

1. The Billionaire’s Vinegar – The Mystery of the World’s Most Expensive Bottle of Wine – Benjamin Wallace, 2008, 323 pages [8] – On December 5, 1985, a bottle of 1787 Chateau Lafite Bordeux—allegedly owned by Thomas Jefferson—sold for $156,000 at Christy’s auction house. But was it a fraud? This is a fascination read, even if you don’t enjoy wine.
2. Fault lines – The social justice movement and evangelicalism’s looming catastrophe – Voddie Baucham, 2021, 249 pages [5] – Baucham makes an unusual argument regarding the social tensions felt in our society. 
3. Thomas Jefferson – Author of America – Christopher Hitchens, 2005, 188 pages [8] – A good, relatively short biography of the great man.

February

4. Intelligent Thinking – Som Bathla – date unknown, 163 pages [6] – I’ve never seen a book with this many typos. It’s self-published and it shows. However, there are a few good nuggets scattered throughout.
5. Call Sign Chaos – Learning to Lead – Jim Mattis – 2019, 249 pages [8] – General Mattis is an American hero. He speaks well on leadership because he’s done it well. Just the final chapter – Reflections – is worth the price of the book. 
6. Muhammad – A Profit for Our Time – Karen Armstrong – 2006, 202 pages [7] – Armstrong, a well-respected authority on world religions, writes about Muhammad, the founder of the world’s second largest religion. An interesting read, though I am skeptical when an historian writes with confidence something like, “For three years, Muhammad kept a low profile, preaching only to a selected people, but somewhat to his dismay, in 615 Allah instructed him to deliver this message to the whole clan of Hashim.” This happened 1,500 years ago; how does Armstrong (or anyone) know such specifics?

March

7. The God Equation – Michio Kaku – 2021, 210 pages [8] – Einstein solidified the General and Specific theories of relativity; many physicists have contributed to the theory of quantum mechanics. Now physicists are working on the unified theory – a theory that will unify and explain all physical properties of the universe. Kaku gives a brief history of what physicists have worked on and accomplished from the time of Isaac Newton to modern day. This is a great and accessible read. 

April

8. The Best of P.G.Wodehouse – An Anthology – [6] – Wodehouse (1881-1975) was perhaps the most widely acclaimed British humorist of the twentieth century. His writing is brilliant, but I lost patience and cherry-picked what I read.  
9. Fundamentals –  Ten Keys to Reality – Frank Wilczek – 2021, 241 pages [7] – As a graduate student, Wilczek won the Nobel Prize in physics in 2004. He’s now a professor at MIT. In an accessible way, he discusses the fundamentals of the universe: time, space, matter, energy, complexity and complementarity. 

May

10. Think Again – The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know – Adam Grant – 2021, 257 pages [9] – Terrific book in which Grant examines the critical art of rethinking: learning to question your opinions and open other people’s minds. 
11. Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain – Lisa Barrett – 2020, 166 pages [9] – Scientists have learned a lot about the brain in the past 20 years. Barrett brings us up to date. Her style is accessible and engaging. I appreciate when brilliant people communicate in a way that lay-persons can understand. 

June

12. The Bomber Mafia – Malcolm Gladwell – 2021, 206 pages [8] – In WW2 there were two approaches to bombing the enemy: precision bombing of facilities critical to a country’s war effort (factories, utilities, transportation) or indiscriminate bombing of entire cities. This book tells the story of both approaches.
13. A Gentleman in Moscow – Amor Towles – 2016, 462 pages [9] – A Russian aristocrat is put on house arrest in the Metropol hotel in Moscow, never to leave the hotel. The story starts in 1922 and ends in 1954. A wonderful novel.
14. Who Not How – Dan Sullivan – 2020, 172 pages [concept – 8; book – 5] – I wish I had internalized this thought when I was beginning my career: When something needs to get done, don’t ask how can this be done, ask who can to it. Learn to delegate work to people who already know how to do it. The thought is great, the book is not. I’ll write a post on the principle and save you having to buy the book. 

July

15. On Bullshit – Harry Frankfurt – 2005, 67 pages [6] – An essay written by Frankfurt – a professor of philosophy at Princeton University. He takes a deep dive into the etymology of this word. Fascinating approach, but little practical application.
16. The Secret Life of Books – 2019, 212 pages [8.5] – A fascinating tome on the world of books. The history of books, how they’re made, libraries, etc. If you love books, you will enjoy this one.

August

17. Rules of Civility – Amor Towles – 2011, 324 pages [8] – Towles first novel, the story is attractive and his prose is engaging. 
18. A Sense of Urgency – John Kotter – 2008, 194 pages [5] – I enjoyed Kotter’s book, Leading Change, but this book is not worth the read. It’s basically an expansion of chapter 1 of Leading Change. This book should have been an article.
19. Cleopatra – Stacy Schiff – 2010, 326 pages [8] – An incredible biography on one of the most intriguing women in history. Schiff is a good historian that writes terrific books.
20. Winnie the Pooh on Management – Roger Allen – 1994, 161 pages [5] – Because of the extended illustration, it took too much effort to get to the management principles.

September

21. The Golden Moments of Paris – John Baxter – 2014, 269 pages [7] – Before my five-day trip to Paris in November, I read two books (this one and number 22) about the decade of the 1920’s in Paris. It was a memorable decade.
22. When Paris Sizzled – Mary McAuliffe – 2016, 270 pages [8] – See above.

October

23. The Culture Code – Daniel Coyle – 2018, 259 pages [9] – Helping and engaging thoughts on building good culture in an organization. My staff and I processed the book together.
24. The Sentinel – Lee Child – 2020, 349 pages [6] – My least favorite Lee Childs book novel about Jack Reacher.  

November

25. What Would Keynes Do? How the greatest economists would solve your everyday problems – Tejvan Pettinger – 2018, 183 pages [7] – Interesting read on applying economic theory to daily life. It draws thoughts from many economists, not just Keynes.
26. Galileo and the Science of Deniers – Mario Live – 2020, 269 pages [7] – Starting with Galileo, the author discusses the problem of science denial. denying science.

Five best books I read in 2021

The Culture Code – Daniel Coyle – 2018, 259 pages [9] – Helping and engaging thoughts on building good culture in an organization. My staff and I processed the book together. Coyle focuses on three main points: Build safety, share vulnerability, and establish purpose.

A Gentleman in Moscow – Amor Towles – 2016, 462 pages [9] – A Russian aristocrat is put on house arrest in the Metropol hotel in Moscow, never to leave the hotel. The story starts in 1922 and ends in 1954. A wonderful novel. It recently made the list of the 125 most important novels of the last 100 years. 

Think Again – The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know – Adam Grant – 2021, 257 pages [9] – Terrific book in which Grant examines the critical art of rethinking: learning to question your opinions and open other people’s minds. His books are always engaging and approachable.

Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain – Lisa Barrett – 2020, 166 pages [9] – Scientists have learned a lot about the brain in the past 20 years. Barrett brings us up to date. Her style is accessible and engaging. I appreciate when brilliant people communicate in a way that lay-persons can understand.

Call Sign Chaos – Learning to Lead – Jim Mattis – 2019, 249 pages [8] – General Mattis is an American hero. He speaks well on leadership because he’s done it well. Just the final chapter – Reflections – is worth the price of the book.

I saw the following statement on the front of a T-shirt (a notable and always reliable source of profound information). 

A goldfish is the happiest animal on earth because it has a 10-second memory.

The statement is false (scientific studies debunk the idea), but it does make a good point: There’s value in leaving the past behind and living in the moment. So let’s use this silly, humorous statement to discuss an important topic. 

We humans are, perhaps, the most unhappy sentient beings on earth because we continue to dwell on things we should let go of; things in our past continue to adversely affect us. In these instances we would benefit from a short memory. 

I’m not suggesting that we ignore, deny, or try to erase painful memories. But we can properly and thoroughly process past experiences so they don’t continue to handicap us. The troubling event is still there but it’s been diffused.

Sometimes, we need to simply “drop” minor offenses and inconveniences; such as: Your plane is delayed; someone makes a tacky comment about you; you’re cut off in traffic. Learn to simply dismiss these minor issues. Here’s a post I wrote about mastering the helpful skill of “dropping it.”  

More importantly, we need to properly process and manage major, painful issues from the past such as: a dysfunctional upbringing, getting fired from a job, a major illness, or failed marriage. It’s difficult to just “drop” these issues; they need to be processed, ideally with help from a professional counselor or a wise friend. These issues are often deeply impeded, sometimes difficult to identify, and complicated to resolve.  

One downside to the goldfish syndrome (if it was real) would be that favorable experiences in life—memories that we should remember, savor, and be grateful for—would be lost. So I’m not suggesting we wipe our memories clean; just mitigate the painful and embrace the positive. 

We will find ourselves in a place of quiet rest when we properly process recent and distant past experiences. Disempower the painful and savor the good.  

I have the privilege of working for an extraordinary man, Chuck Swindoll. He’s smart, kind, competent, fair, engaging…the list goes on and on. He’s the greatest person I’ve know personally. 

One of the things I love and respect about Chuck is that he insists on being called Chuck. Not doctor or president or chancellor (he held both positions at a major seminary), or even pastor; he wants his colleagues, friends, admirers, and even children to call him Chuck. I like that; it’s admirable and right.

Years ago I worked with a man who had an honorary doctorate and he insisted on being addressed as Dr., even by his wife when they were in public. Ugh…

In our culture we often overuse titles and postnominals. Why don’t we just use first names? Or, better yet, here’s a meaningful, egalitarian term that implies unity and solidarity.   

I like the term comrade. 

Because of its common usage in portrayals of the Soviet Union in Cold War films and books, the term has become strongly associated with Russo-Soviet communism, even though the Russian word is tovarisch, not comrade. Admit it: When you read the title of this post, what came to mind? Did you resist the term?

But the term comrade (which means “mate, colleague, ally, team member”) actually derives from the Spanish and Portuguese term camarada. Political use of the term was inspired by the French Revolution (following the Revolution, French titles of nobility were abolished), after which it grew into a common and preferred form of address between members of a group regardless of class, rank, or status. Indeed, in communist Russia, Nikita Khrushchev, premier of the Soviet Union, would greet a factory worker by calling him tovarisch, and the factory worker felt comfortable calling Khrushchev tovarisch.

But the word has been misunderstood and sullied by social and historical influences, so I’m going to use it sparingly. If I know you have read this post, I may, with a concealed smile, greet you as comrade. But when I stand before the congregation at my church, I’ll refrain.

Just call me Don, or comrade. 

Years ago, I observed that if left undirected, many conversations among groups of people are awkward, trivial, and unbalanced. This first became clear to me when I met with a group of older men who had been meeting together once a week for years. I assumed that because they had met so often that they knew each other well. But I soon realized that they had never talked about serious issues of life; they just repeated the same conversations about the weather, sports, and news. Two of the men were unaware they were both veterans of WW2.

I continued to meet with this group each week for several months. Once I became a trusted member, I started “orchestrating” the conversations by asking questions and encouraging everyone to respond. I started with simple, non-invasive questions like, “Where were you born and what was the first ten years of your life like?” Eventually we shared on a deeper level, “What’s been the biggest challenge of your life? What are your dreams for the next 10 years?” As the conversations deepened, so did the relationships. 

Currently, when I’m with a group of people (my family, friends, colleagues), I often initiate topics to discuss, and ask everyone to share their thoughts. Once you create a safe environment where people are free to share their thoughts, and then suggest a meaningful topic, good conversation ensues. 

Where do the questions come from? I make most of them up on the spot, based on the group. But there are hundreds of good ice-breaker questions. I recently Googled conversation starters and found these.

1. If you could dedicate your life to solving one problem, what would it be?
2. What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
3. How many uses are there for a brick?
4. Who is the most famous person you have met?

Mary reminds me to not dominate conversations with my questions; sometimes people just want to chit-chat. But adding some direction and purpose to conversations helps deepen relationships and and leads to interesting conversations. 

The next time you’re with a group of people, try it.

Psychologist Arthur Aron has written 36 questions arranged in three sets. The questions become progressively more engaging and require a deeper level of sharing.

SET I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

SET II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

SET III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.