Don McMinn

When I was a teenager I heard a sermon on the mystery box. The pastor recommended that throughout life everyone should keep an imaginary box into which you place those things that happen in life for which there seems to be no good explanation. In the course of life, events and issues happen that we don’t understand. We ask “why” but never get an answer (though some well-meaning friends will offer their opinions). We pray for answers and reasons, but God is silent. 

So when a painful, unexplainable event happens, open your mystery box, place the event inside, close the lid and then stop trying to figure it out. Someday, in heaven, open up the box and talk to God.

I remember the first thing I put in my box. When growing up, my hero was the minister of music at my church. He was a wonderful man and effective minister. When he was 42 years old (I was 18) he had a stroke and became incapacitated. He’s now in his 90’s. I wrestled with God about his illness and subsequent limited lifestyle. I finally opened up my mystery box, placed the anger, confusion, and unsolved mystery inside, and shut the lid.

I’m now 68 years old and have five things in my box. 

This is a wonderful, effective way to deal with imponderables. By placing them in the box, we’re not denying or minimizing our pain and confusion. We’re simply acknowledging that there’s no clear answer available in this life, but there will be in the next. When we get to heaven, we can discuss these issues with God (though I think they will become clear the moment we arrive). 

One of my favorite Bible passages is Isiah 55:8-9: 

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

This is not new or shocking news. Do we actually think that God thinks like we do or is restricted by our limitations? If he did and was, He wouldn’t be God.

By the way, we often fumble the ball when responding to other people’s imponderables. We do them and God a disservice when we try to explain something for which there is no explanation. I even resist saying things like, “God will cause this to work out for your good” or, “this will make you stronger.” Either don’t say anything or suggest that they start their own mystery box. [Here’s a post I wrote titled Don’t say this to someone who is hurting.]

Let’s just trust God and his ways in our lives and the lives of other people.

 

Walking is good exercise. Actually, any type of movement—unloading the dishwasher, raking leaves, cleaning the house—is beneficial and trumps passivity. For many people walking is a good option because it’s so simple and available.  

Here are three suggestions that will make walking more beneficial.

Walk on uneven surfaces.

Instead of walking on a treadmill or a flat surface, walk on uneven surfaces like grass or outdoor natural terrain. 

When we walk on even, predictable surfaces, our bodies and minds quickly go on autopilot. But when the ground we walk on is irregular our muscles must constantly adjust to the changes. 

A recent study from the University of Michigan examined the physical differences between walking on uneven terrain compared with smooth surfaces. Using a special treadmill that mimicked walking over trails, grass, and uneven pavement, the researchers learned that walking on a surface that varied by only one inch from a flat, smooth surface  increased calorie-burning by 28 percent.

Walking on uneven surfaces also demands more mental effort. For instance, don’t underestimate how much brain power is required to do simple tasks, like reaching out and grasping a cup of coffee. Millions of neurons are firing as you make simple moves. When you walk on uneven surfaces your mind must constantly calculate how to negotiate those movements, and that’s good mental exercise.  

Walk barefoot, preferably on dirt. 

Grounding, or earthing, is the theory that barefoot contact is beneficial. Grounding happens when you walk barefoot on grass, dirt, sand, gravel, or concrete.

One reason direct physical contact with the ground might be beneficial is that the earth’s surface has a negative charge and is constantly generating electrons that could neutralize free radicals, which act as antioxidants. Research also suggests physical contact with the earth’s surface can help regulate our autonomic nervous system and keep our circadian rhythms—which regulate body temperature, hormone secretion, digestion and blood pressure, among other things—synchronized with the day/night cycle.

Walk on golf balls (or some other stark surface).

Reflexology is an alternative medical practice that applies pressure to specific areas of the foot. The theory behind reflexology is that specific areas of the foot correspond to organs and systems of the body. So pressure applied to the foot is thought to bring relaxation and healing to corresponding areas of the body. Several studies indicate that reflexology may reduce pain and psychological symptoms, such as stress and anxiety, and enhance relaxation and sleep. Because reflexology is also low risk, it is a reasonable option for relaxation and stress relief. 

Physical therapists and massage therapists offer reflexology treatments, but you can produce similar benefits by rolling your feet on hard, uneven surfaces such as a golf ball or the edge of a table or chair. In essence, give yourself a foot massage. 

I realize that parts of this post may seem esoteric and unscientific, and it may be. If nothing else, I encourage you to walk more (which is undoubtably beneficial) and experiment with the three suggestions. When I work in my vineyard, I’m barefoot, walking on dirt and grass, and it’s wonderfully therapeutic. 

Action item — Walk (and now you know where you walk is important).

Discussion — Share some of your walking habits.

Spoon-feeding (verb) definition: providing someone with so much help or information that they do not need to think for themselves.

The generation effect is a phenomenon where generating material, rather than passively receiving it, enhances learning and retention. It suggests that struggling to generate an answer on your own, even a wrong one, enhances learning. It is the opposite of spoon-feeding. We remember information that has been generated by our mind better than material that we’ve merely read or heard.

Educators and psychologists have long extolled the benefits of active learning techniques such as organizing material, self-explaining, learning through experience, and practicing retrieval. Underlying all these strategies is the generation effect.

• When teaching, don’t spoon-feed answers to your students. Require them to think for themselves and produce their own answers. Ask more questions and don’t offer quick answers. Use pop-quizzes, not as a test of recall for material already discussed, but as a catalyst for creative thinking.
• When learning, don’t just rely on easily accessible written materials. Don’t be too quick to use Google or other search engines to find quick answers. Force yourself to think through issues and generate your own answers, even if they’re wrong. Then, if necessary, access reliable sources to confirm truth.

Socrates was spot-on when he would ask his pupils a question and force them to generate their own answers. That’s the best way to teach and learn.

Action item —  When teaching others, ask more questions and let students struggle finding answers.

Discussion question — How can we apply the generation effect to our own self-learning?

A salesman at a furniture store told a customer, “This sofa will seat five people without any problems.”

The customer asked, “Where am I going to find five people without any problems?”

Truth is, it’s impossible to find even one person without problems. We’re all plagued by challenges and difficult issues. 

In this post we’ll consider five ways to mitigate the inevitable problems of life. While they can’t be eliminated, we can learn skills that will lessen their impact on our lives. 

George Eman Vaillant, an American psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School, was the chief curator of a massive 75-year research project which focused on one main question: What makes us happy? The project followed 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s and followed them through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and into old age.

The study produced many insights into what makes humans happy. Among the findings, Vaillant identified five coping mechanisms that lead to greater growth, positive mental health, improved human relationships, and successful careers. 

We’re well aware of unhealthy (maladaptive) coping mechanisms: excessive sleeping, eating, or alcohol consumption; avoidance, denial, excessive working, procrastination, social withdrawal, aggression. Vaillant found five healthy ways we can respond to difficult experiences. 

The next time you encounter one of life’s inevitable challenges, try one of these:

Anticipation — Realistically anticipate future problems and plan on how you’re going to feel and respond. Vaillant said, “Anticipation permits the person to become aware of an event before it happens and thus attenuate associated anxiety and depression.” 

For example, before attending a meeting that you know will be challenging, anticipate what might happen and how you could respond.  

Suppression — Intentionally avoid thinking about specific problems, desires, feelings, or experiences until a later time when they can be more maturely processed. Don’t completely repress or deny the problem, just postpone dealing with it until a better time.

For example, suppose you just got some bad news at work—you’ve been demoted. But tonight is your child’s birthday party. Before the party begins, decide that for the next few hours you’re going to suppress your feelings about what happened at work and enjoy the party.  

Humor — Carefully and tactfully used, humor can help us cope, can add levity to situations, and even diffuse stressful situations.  

For instance, self-deprecating humor can bring relief to serious situations.

Sublimation — In sublimation, the energy created by a negative issue is transferred into an acceptable activity such as games, sports, hobbies, romance, and creative expression.

For instance, when you’re stressed out, go for a long run, or delve into an enjoyable hobby. 

Altruism — Altruism is getting pleasure from giving to others what you yourself would like to receive.  

When going through hard times, it’s helpful to focus on others and give to meet their needs. It distracts us from our short-sided perspective and we see a larger view. Generous and kind acts offer intrinsic benefits to the giver. The Bible reminds us that it is more rewarding to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). 

For instance, if you’re struggling with feelings of aloneness, take the initiative to reach out to someone who may be struggling with the same issue. 

Here’s an article that summarizes Valliant’s longitudinal study.