Don McMinn

We’ve often heard that first impressions are important…and they are. But don’t neglect final impressions because we humans are highly influenced by endings. Regardless of how an experience started and played out, we remember most how it ended. 

There’s probably a more tactful example of this idea, but this anecdote—involving colonoscopies—is telling. The experiment was conducted by Redelmeier and Kahneman. 

“In the late 1980s, colonoscopies were painful, and not merely dreaded. The discomfort of the procedure dissuaded people from returning for another one. By 1990, colon cancer was killing sixty thousand people every year in the United States. Many of its victims would have survived had their cancer been detected at an early stage. Was it possible to alter their memory of the experience so that they might forget how unpleasant it was?

“To answer the question, Redelmeier ran an experiment on roughly seven hundred people over a period of a year. One group of patients had the colonoscope yanked out of their rear ends at the end of their colonoscopy without ceremony; the other group felt the tip of the scope lingering in their rectums for an extra three minutes. Those extra three minutes were not pleasant. They were merely less unpleasant than the other procedure. The patients in the first group were on the receiving end of an old-fashioned wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am colonoscopy; those in the second group enjoyed a sweeter, or less painful, ending. The sum total of pain experienced by the second group was, however, greater.

“An hour after the procedure, the researchers entered the recovery room and asked the patients to rate their experience. Those who had been give the less unhappy ending remembered less pain than did the patients who had not. Human beings who had never imagined that they might prefer more pain to less could nearly all be fooled into doing so. As Redelmeier put it, ‘Last impressions can be lasting impressions’” (from The Undoing Project, Michael Lewis, page 235). 

How can we take advantage of this insight? 

When planning an event, end with a nice, feel-good experience.

Several years ago I took 36 friends on a trip to Europe. On the last night of the trip we were staying in a convent in Rome. I had arranged for a professional tenor to sing a concert—just for our group—in the chapel prior to a four-course meal. It was an incredible ending to the trip; people are still talking about it. No one mentions the fact that it rained that last day in Rome, which made touring difficult. The nice ending of the trip trumped previous inconveniences.  

When an unfortunate event occurs, its impact can be minimized by orchestrating a positive ending. 

In 1989 Lexus introduced its first car, the flagship LS400. Their slogan was “the relentless pursuit of perfection.” But the car had flaws and all 8,000 vehicles were recalled. The cruise control failed to disengage, the plastic cover around the high-mounted rear brake light warped, and a poor connection between the alternator and battery could cause the battery to run down. 

This could have rendered Lexus stillborn—it’s first car was flawed. But the company took full responsibility for the problems and its dealers did the repair work at no charge to the customer. But here’s what made the big difference: An older couple had bought their LS400 in a major city and drove it to their small town which was 500 miles from the nearest dealership. When Lexus heard about the dilemma they flew mechanics to the small town and repaired the car at the couple’s home. The story went viral and became a memorable legend—“Lexus will always take care of their customers.”  

Think carefully about how you end all relational encounters: a conversation with a co-worker; a lunch meeting; a consulting contract; a worship service; an athletic event; a planning retreat, a dinner party. A well-orchestrated ending can make a significant difference.

I’m a numbers vulture. I count everything. I count the people in a room, the number of children singing in a choir, how many people click on my post each week, my car’s mpg. I’m probably obsessive about tracking numbers, but that’s better than the alternative. 

Attention to numbers is important. Data is your friend. Facts are telling. Objective measurements are revealing. This discipline is especially important for managers and leaders, because you can’t manage what you don’t measure. [This mantra is attributed to business consultant, Peter Drucker.)

You can’t know whether or not you are successful unless success is defined and tracked. With a clearly established metric for success, you can quantify progress and adjust your process to produce desired outcomes. Without clear objectives, you’re stuck in a constant state of guessing. Not being able to measure the effect of a given set of actions would make it impossible to know if you should be doing more or less of those actions—or if you should be doing them at all. Imagine going on a diet but refusing to use a scale to monitor your progress.

Granted, there are important things going on in an organization that are hard to quantify—people’s attitude, the role of intuition in making decisions—but these activities will ultimately affect the organization in ways that can be measured. For instance, if your organization’s revenue is falling (measurable), you might question your intuitive decisions (unmeasurable).

I’ve never understood why some managers neglect metrics; some even push back at the idea. Perhaps they don’t understand the necessity and the benefit, or they’re insecure about what the numbers will tell and the implied accountability. Non-profit leaders are less inclined to count than leaders in the corporate world. I’ve heard from this group: “What we do cannot be quantified; we deal with intangibles.” But that’s an excuse. There are always viable ways to track the growth and health of an organization. 

Leaders, what should you measure?

• • The vital signs of your organization. What factors reveal health or pathology? What is necessary for survival? For thriving?
  • Your goals. How can your organization improve in the next 12 months? Answer that question, develop a plan, identify measurables, track them, and talk about them.
  • Finances. All organizations should track finances, including non-profits. (Peter Drucker once said, “To do good you must do well.”) Financial gain may not be a priority for non-profits but financial viability is. A budget is a tool for planning and measurement; keep it current and check it often.

In your organization, don’t just track numbers, discuss them; make them transparent. Don’t shy away from what they reveal.

Because of big data, computers, and algorithms, measuring important metrics is easier than it’s ever been, and because of the challenging world in which we live and work, it’s more important than it’s ever been.

Years ago a friend of mine, a physician, was struggling with a cocktail of emotional and mental issues. He confided in me and asked for my help. During our conversation, I asked him if he had any hobbies; he didn’t. I asked him what he did on his day off; he didn’t take a day off. He didn’t have any intellectual pursuits (other than his profession) or intimate friends. His entire life centered around one thing: his practice. He lived a unidimensional life and it was beginning to take its toll. 

Biologist Thomas Huxley offered good advice when he said, “Try to learn everything about something and something about everything.”

Try to learn everything about something.

Become an expert in one area of life. Drill deep and be thorough in your knowledge and understanding. This is usually our profession. While we’ll never know everything about a particular subject, we can become extremely proficient. 

Try to learn something about everything.

Here’s why a multidimensional life should be pursued:

• • You’ll enjoy the wonderful diversity of life and our world. There are so many interesting things in life to explore. Don’t get pigeon-holed into just one area.
  • You’ll be a more interesting person. It’s often tedious being around one-dimensional people. Their conversation is limited and their perspective is narrow. 
  • You won’t be flummoxed if your one area of expertise vanishes. Many current jobs will not exist several years from now; AI will make them obsolete.    
  • You won’t be bored when you retire. Some of my friends go bat-crazy about six months after they retire because their self-identity, self-worth, and life-focus have been solely defined by their profession. Other friends, upon retirement, sense a new lease on life because they now have more time to pursue their “everythings.” 

My daughter and son-in-law are quintessential examples of what I’m advocating. Jonathan has gone deep into his profession: if you ever need an emergency-room physician, hope it’s Jonathan. But he’s also an instrument-rated pilot, an expert sailor, volunteers for the F.B.I., is finishing his MBA, built a lake house…he knows something about many things. My daughter, Lauren, has a degree in violin performance, a master’s degree from Columbia in strategic planning, graduated from culinary school, is a master gardener, and started a business in environmental sustainability. 

Way to go, kids.

Be a jack-of-all-trades and a master of one. It’s a good recipe for a well-balanced and engaging life.

“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.” Stephen Covey

This statement, made by author Stephen Covey, exposes a hypocrisy most of us struggle with. Both terms—intentions and behavior—are legitimate ways to evaluate human conduct; the rub is that we conveniently select intentions when considering ourselves and behavior when evaluating other people.  

I think we should consider both consistently and apply them uniformly. 

Intentions are important because why we do something reveals motive. Behavior is important because what we do impacts ourselves and others.   

While intentions are important, they don’t atone for all behavior. Here in Dallas, we recently had an incident in which a policewoman, thinking she was entering her own apartment, entered someone else’s apartment, thought the tenet was an intruder, and shot him dead. At the trial, her lawyer said, “She didn’t intend to kill an innocent person”; but someone died.  

Relative to your own behavior, don’t use intentions as an excuse for unproductive actions: “I didn’t mean to back into your car in the parking lot.” Or, “I didn’t intend to hurt you with my remarks.” Instead, own up to your behavior: pay to have the car repaired, and ask forgiveness if you spoke inappropriate words.  

Relative to other people’s behavior, cut them some slack for good intentions. “I understand that you didn’t purposefully back into my car.” Or, “I know you care for me though your words didn’t properly reflect that.”

Let’s maintain an attitude of presumed benevolence toward others. Let’s believe that the actions and behaviors of other people are inspired by good rather than negative intentions. Choose to imagine a noble intent.