Author: Don McMinn

A bucket list is a list of things you want to accomplish in your lifetime. They are typically out-of-the-ordinary experiences, not mundane, predictable ones. For instance, you wouldn’t include maintain personal health on your bucket list or buy a car; but you might include tour Europe or plant a vineyard. They are usually big, challenging goals (get my pilot’s license) and not small, simple activities (buy a water bed).

Most people think that a bucket list is just for old people: “I’m 70 years old. What do I want to do before I die? On my deathbed what will I regret having not done?” But a broader perspective would suggest that everyone should have a bucket list and that the earlier you start your list the better. In a recent post I wrote about the advantages of setting goals early in life.

I’ve had a robust bucket list for years. It’s fluid: I’m constantly adding, subtracting, and tweaking the items. Here are a few items on my list.

• Attend the Art Basel art show (in Switzerland) and buy a painting
• Eat at the best restaurant in the world
• Taste all the great wines of the world
• Take a one-week course at Oxford
• Give a TED talk
• Have 50,000 subscribers to my blog site
• Run the NYC marathon at age 65 (I ran it when I was 35)
• Visit 60 countries (I’ve been to 44; I try to add one new country a year)
• Visit the source of one of the four great rivers of the world: Nile, Amazon, Yangtze, Mississippi
• Stand for 30 minutes by myself in 130°F and -30°F temperatures

In his good book, never eat alone, Keith Ferrazzi posits a strong argument for setting life-goals.

“In a study cited in Success magazine researchers asked Yale’s class of 1953 a number of questions. Three had to do with goals: Have you set goals? Have you written them down? Do you have a plan to accomplish them?

“It turned out that only 3 percent of the Yale class had written down their goals along with a plan of action to achieve them. Thirteen percent had goals but had not written them down. Fully 84 percent had no specific goals at all, other than to ‘enjoy themselves.’

“In 1973, when the same class was resurveyed, the differences between the goal setters and everyone else were stunning. The 13 percent who had goals but had not written them down were earning, on average twice as much as the 84 percent of students who had no goals at all. But most surprising of all, the 3 percent who had written down their goals were earning, on average, ten times as much as the 97 percent of graduates combined!” (page 23)

If you aim at nothing you will always hit it.

I have also found that sometimes the journey is just as satisfying as reaching the destination. Planning how you’re going to accomplish a goal and taking incremental steps forward is, in itself, fulfilling.

For instance, I’ve been strategizing for years about how to spend 30 minutes in 130° F temperature (see the above list). Early in 2015, Mary and I planned a trip to Dubai (United Arab Emirates) and I did some research into how hot it gets in that Arab emirate. The hottest temperature on record is 125° F in the city, but Dubai is on the Persian Gulf and is cooled (relatively speaking) by the sea breeze. Perhaps I could get closer to my goal by going south into the desert.

So when we were in Dubai I hired a car and driver and ventured out into the desert. When we were far from civilization the driver dropped me off and I walked the dunes, taking temperature readings as I went. Fortunately for me, a heat wave was ravaging the area that week so I recorded 132° F where I stood. Mission accomplished. I asked my driver to take my picture.

Maintain a bucket list.

[reminder]What’s on your bucket list?[/reminder]

 

 

We drink from wells we did not dig; we are warmed by fires we did not kindle. —Ancient proverb

Summer of 1998 saw the release of Steven Spielberg’s film, Saving Private Ryan. The story takes place during WWII.

Chief of Staff, General Marshall, is told that three of a woman’s four sons have been killed and that she’s going to receive the notifications of their deaths in the same week. When he learns that a fourth son, Ryan, is engaged in battle and is unaccounted for, the general sends a unit to find him and bring him back, despite being told that it’s highly unlikely that he is still alive and the area that he was known to be in is very dangerous.

The military assigns Captain Miller (played by Tom Hanks) the unenviable task of leading a small squadron of eight men behind enemy lines to find Private James Francis Ryan, who parachuted into German-held territory the day before.

The squad makes its way across the devastated countryside, losing two members in skirmishes with the Germans. Eventually they find Ryan dug in with his unit, awaiting a German counter attack. He refuses to leave his comrades and Miller agrees that his squad will stay to help them defend their position. The Germans attack in overwhelming numbers and Miller and most of his squad is killed, but Ryan survives and makes it home.

The film ends with an old Private Ryan, now in his 70s, with his family at the military cemetery at Normandy, looking at the grave of Captain Miller.

Upon remembering the sacrifices that were made so he could live, Ryan asks his wife, “Have I been a good man? Have I lived a good life?”

In many ways, we all drink from wells we did not dig. We benefit from the farsightedness and unselfish sacrifices of those who precede us. We, then, should be grateful and humble and strive to give to others as we have been given to. If not, we may harbor the illusion of self-sufficiency and secrete the putrid smell of ungratefulness.We need to ask ourselves probing questions, similar to what Private Ryan did in the Normandy cemetery. Questions that will reveal our core motivations and prompt us to pursue altruistic goals.

• Am I living an unselfish life, devoted to the wellbeing of others?
• Am I fully engaged in life, making the most of my gifts and talents?
• Am I investing my life in things that will benefit others even after I am gone?

When I was in high school, my church choir went on some exotic and expensive trips. My sophomore year we toured Europe for three weeks. When I was a junior we went to Mexico. My senior year we traveled in Asia for three weeks. Being raised in a low-income family, we didn’t have the funds for those opportunities, but somehow I went on every trip. Who paid for my trips? What anonymous donor provided the funds? I’ll never know. But just thinking about it gives me pause. I am filled with gratefulness and prompted to give to others.

[reminder]What are your thoughts about this essay?[/reminder]

Summary
What? – Be grateful for predecessors who gave of themselves for your benefit. Then, motivated by gratefulness, aspire to live a life that will benefit others, both now and after you are gone.
So what? – If you are unaware of and ungrateful for what you have inherited, you may become increasingly self-sufficient, self-centered, and wrongly motivated.
Now what? – Identify specific individuals who gave so you might have. Be grateful, and aspire to give to future generations.

Leaders – Does your organization have altruistic goals? Are you digging wells from which others may someday drink?

Sometimes, when I consider what tremendous consequences come from small things, I am tempted to think…there are no small things. — Barton

The Space Shuttle Challenger disaster occurred when it broke apart 73 seconds into its flight, leading to the deaths of seven crew members. Disintegration began after an O-ring seal in its right solid rocket booster failed at liftoff. The O-ring failure caused a breach in the SRB joint it sealed, allowing pressurized burning gas from within the solid rocket motor to reach the outside and impinge upon the adjacent SRB aft field joint attachment hardware and external fuel tank.

Details are important.

• Disastrous things can happen when we neglect details — Challenger disaster.
• Great artists are obsessed with details — Ernest Hemingway wrote 47 endings to A Farewell to Arms.
• The health of personal relationships often hinges on small courtesies — a friend called me last week to ask about a project I’m working on; I was so pleased that he remembered.
• When writing, details are essential. There’s a difference between “I’m going to eat, Mom” and “I’m going to eat Mom.”

Charles Eames, the famous American architect and furniture designer, once said, “The details are not the details. They make the design.” Everything is composed of details so every detail is important.

I used to pride myself on my disregard for details, thinking that I was a “big picture” guy who was too concerned with macro issues to worry about micro ones. I was wrong. Being detail-oriented and maintaining a broad view are not mutually exclusive. We can and should do both.

A friend of mine, who was the personal assistant to Mr. Carl Sewell, a successful luxury car dealer in Dallas, told me an interesting story. One day my friend heard Mr. Sewell talking on the phone with the president of General Motors about global issues affecting the automobile industry: financial markets, the price of oil, the impact of China on American automakers, etc. When Mr. Sewell finished the call, he straightaway walked to the parts department and asked, “Have we received the bumper for Ms. Johnson’s Escalade?” Mr. Sewell constantly and successfully negotiated both minutia and massive issues.

Often, big doors swing on small hinges. The space vehicle Mariner 1, destined for Mars, suddenly veered off course and into oblivion. A single hyphen was inadvertently left out of the data fed into its guidance system and that was the cause of its regrettable fate.

[Since we’re talking about details, here’s a detailed description of the error: The error occurred when a symbol was being transcribed by hand in the specification for the guidance program. The writer missed the superscript bar which meant “the nth smoothed value of the time derivative of a radius R”. Since the smoothing function indicated by the bar was left out of the specification for the program, the implementation treated normal minor variations of velocity as if they were serious, causing spurious corrections that sent the rocket off course.]

Pay attention to details.

[reminder]What are you thoughts about this topic?[/reminder]

Summary
What? – Details are important.
So what? – Be detail-oriented. Sweat the small stuff.
Now what? – Analyze yourself. Do you pay attention to details? Become more adept at this. Remember that “close enough” rarely is.

Leaders – Organizational excellence depends on being obsessed with details. Is this part of your organization’s culture?

There are times when I am so unlike myself that I might be taken for someone else of an entirely opposite character. Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Confessions, 1782

Last night Mary and I hosted our neighborhood’s monthly dinner party. From 7:00 to 11:00 p.m. our home was filled to capacity with people.

I struggle at these events because I am the archetypal introvert. My idea of a good evening is to sequester myself in my study and read a book. I would rather chew on cut glass than have to be “on” for four hours at a social event.

But last night I played the part. I was a gregarious, talkative, engaging host.

Was I being disingenuous and hypocritical? I don’t think so, because sometimes we need to act like someone we’re not. Psychologists have a term for this: counter-dispositional behavior.

I learned this lesson from psychology professor Brian Little’s book titled Me, Myself, and Us: The Personality and the Art of Well-Being. Little teaches a large, popular psychology course at Harvard. Though he is an introvert, his teaching style is very animated and energetic, so much so that his students are always surprised to hear him admit that when he’s teaching, he’s also acting. Little explains and defends his behavior in chapter three of his book: Free Traits: On Acting Out of Character.

I’m a big proponent of authenticity; we all need to discover how we are unique, accept the distinctions, and live authentically. Be your true self because therein lies deep satisfaction. Long term, you cannot sustain inauthentic behavior. But in the short term you can, and sometimes should, fake it.

Dr. Little says there are two main reasons why counter-dispositional behavior is often necessary — for professional reasons and for love.

If certain aspects of your work require you to be someone you’re not, have the emotional fortitude to play the part. For instance, if you’re a salesperson you may need to be more animated than your real self would normally be. Likewise, if for the love of family and friends you need to put aside your true self and temporarily assume a new persona, do so.

Last night I was an extroverted host. I did it because I love my neighbors and wanted them to feel welcomed and affirmed during their brief stay in our home. I couldn’t maintain that image 24/7, but I did for 247 minutes. Granted, it was exhausting, and when the last guest left, I went to my study, pulled out a book, and resumed my normal identity.

[reminder]What are you thoughts about this topic?[/reminder]

Summary
What? – Sometimes we must adapt our behavior to meet the demands of the moment. This is not being insincere; it’s being smart and at times, loving.
So what? – We need to embrace this concept and know when to engage in it.
Now what? – Identify times in your life when it would be advantageous for you to engage in counter-dispositional behavior, and start doing so.

Leaders – Identify times in which your leadership position may require you to act in a way that is unnatural to you. Talk to your team members about this principle and how it can enhance their productivity.