Don McMinn

David Whyte, Anglo-Irish poet, tells a story about losing and finding his favorite pen, a Mont Blanc given to him by a friend. It is his favorite pen, not because it’s an expensive instrument, but because for decades it has been his constant companion and he uses it to write poetry and sign books.    

He was on a red-eye flight returning to Belfast. Moments before the plane landed, as he started getting his belongings together, he realized he must have dropped his pen. He was sitting in first class, so his seat was not the simple, straightforward kind; it was highly mechanized and hard to access. He tried in vain to find his pen.

When all passengers were off the plane the stewardess helped him look for it, but to no avail. She finally said, “Mr. Whyte, the only thing left to do so is ask an engineer to board the plane and take the seat apart.” He gently said, “Please do.”

Twenty minutes later, with the seat torn apart, there it was…his pen.

Whyte says that from that moment on, he valued the pen even more, for it had been lost but now was found. 

He uses that story to teach an important truth: Sometimes losing something and then regaining it enhances our appreciation of it. Whyte even suggests that we should periodically play a mind game with ourselves in which we “experience” the lost/found/increased-value scenario, but without having actually suffered the loss. 

Try this:

• Close your eyes for a few minutes and imagine that two years ago you lost your sight. The world is now dark 24/7. Then imagine that through a medical procedure, or miracle, your sight has been restored. Now open your eyes and savor the sight of objects, people, colors, and shapes. The color red. A sunset. A loved one. You can drive a car again. You’ll have a greater appreciation for something you have taken for granted—sight. 
• Imagine that you have lost someone you love: a child, friend, or spouse. Think deeply about what life would be like without him or her; feel the sadness. But then remind yourself that you haven’t lost them, it’s just a mind game. 
• Imagine that you’re confined to solitary confinement. You’re in an 8×10 cell (slightly bigger than the average bathroom). You’re by yourself in the cell for 22 to 24 hours a day. When let out, it is into a small, solitary, outdoor area. But your confinement is only a daydream. With a new sense of gratitude, enjoy the rest of your day as the free person you really are.

Whenever I play this mind game, I become more grateful, less ill-tempered, more mindful and humbler, and more aware of God’s goodness and the joy of living life.  

“In leadership, character counts. We maintain that leadership is character.” Bennis & Goldsmith

Let’s consider two character qualities—honesty and integrity—in the lives of two historical leaders: Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Lindemann.

In Jordan Ellenberg’s new book Shape: The Hidden Geometry of Information, Biology, Strategy, Democracy, and Everything Else, he writes, “What distinguished Lincoln as a thinker, his friend and fellow lawyer Henry Clay Whitney recalled, wasn’t his brilliance; lots of people in public life are smart, and among them one finds both the good and the bad. What made Lincoln special was integrity, his belief that you should not say something unless you have demonstrated that it is right. Whitney writes: “It was morally impossible for Lincoln to argue dishonestly; he could no more do it than he could steal; it was the same thing to him in essence, to despoil a man of his property by larceny, or by illogical or flagitious reasoning.”

Frederick Lindemann was a brilliant physicist who became one of Winston Churchill’s best friends and close confidant during World War 2. He was a ruthless debater and a good strategist, but he lacked character. One of his biographers, Frederick Smith, said of him, “He would not shrink from using an argument which he knew to be wrong if by so doing he could tie up one of his professional opponents.”

While everyone should aspire to have good character, it is non-negotiable for effective leaders. If you don’t have good character, your leadership will always be wanting. In Thomas Wren’s book, The Leader’s Companion, Insights on Leadership Through the Ages, Kirkpatrick and Locke contribute these thoughts, “Honesty and integrity are virtues in all individuals, but have special significance for leaders. Without these qualities, leadership is undermined. Integrity is the correspondence between word and deed and honesty refers to being truthful or non-deceitful. The two form the foundation of a trusting relationship between leader and followers.” 

Let’s apply this lesson in two ways.

First, don’t follow a leader who has bad character. If you do you’ll need to justify his or her actions, which will weaken your own character. It will not end well for you or the organization. 

Secondly, if you’re a leader, prioritize developing and maintaining stellar character. Interestingly and fortunately, character is not an innate quality; we’re not born with character any more than we are born with beliefs or values. Character is developed. So if yours is lacking—improve.

Best article I read this week – How to Wait Well, by Jason Farman. It is well worth your time to think his thoughts.

For the last 14 months of its life, the check engine light in my old Subaru Forester (230,000 miles) was constantly on. I would fix one issue that triggered the alarm and then another would flare up. I became so weary of the issue that I didn’t even want to have it checked out. I just ignored the light and would have disconnected it had I known how to. 

Years ago (before Mary and I vowed to live debt-free) when our credit card bill would get out of hand, I avoided checking the balance because I knew it was high and out of control.

In both cases, I was exhibiting the ostrich effect (OE).

According to a persistent myth, ostriches bury their heads in the sand when they’re scared or feel threatened. They think they are safe if they can’t see the danger. (They don’t really do that.) 

The ostrich effect is a cognitive bias that causes people to avoid information that they perceive as potentially unpleasant. From a psychological standpoint, OE is the result of the conflict between what our rational mind knows to be important and what our emotional mind anticipates will be painful. Instead of helping, it drains us of time, energy, and resources and offers nothing of value in return. 

Here are some examples of the ostrich effect

• You may avoid getting a professional medical diagnosis because you’re afraid of hearing bad news (although, ironically, health information is crucial for health maintenance).
• You regularly check your retirement fund when the market is going up but not when it’s going down (although, to manage your money wisely, you need consistent data).
• Parents may hesitate to have a child who is having trouble in school tested.
• A business executive may postpone delving into what may be problems in the organization.

As is often the case with cognitive biases, the first step towards clarity is self-awareness. We must realize and admit that we’re falling prey to unhealthy thinking. I think the ostrich effect is one of the easiest biases to recognize: Just identify areas in your life in which you’re procrastinating or reluctant to get information because you think it might be bad news. 

The antidote to the ostrich effect is also simple and straightforward: Immediately pursue areas that you’re avoiding and pursue them aggressively. Put them at the top of your to-do-list; pledge that you’ll not eat again until you address the issues.  

The ostrich effect offers no value—there’s no upside—but overcoming it is very beneficial. As the Bible says, “The truth will set you free,” even if the truth is unpalatable.

Your mood affects your judgment. When making a decision, if you’re happy at that moment, you may decide differently than if you’re upset. For instance, a judge may issue a severe judgment on a criminal defendant because his roof leaked the night before and ruined his favorite desk. The same judge may issue a lenient judgment because he’s happy about leaving on vacation the next day. (Clever people learn how to use this truth to their advantage: when needing a decision from someone, they’ll wait until the person is in a good mood before asking.)

Generally speaking, a positive mood and disposition leads to a better life and sense of well-being than a negative mood or disposition. And relative to interpersonal relationships, we prefer to spend time with people who are happy and positive rather than those who are grouchy and pessimistic. 

But there’s at least one instance in which pessimism can be an asset. Being in a good mood (or by nature positive and optimistic) can make us naive and we can be easily misled. When we view life through rose-tinted glasses, our optimism can lead us to make bad decisions.

So, while it’s better to have a positive outlook on life than a negative one, be aware that positivity has a downside; it can distort our judgment. Be positive but don’t be gullible. Don’t believe everything you’re told. Don’t be swayed by charming people. Don’t be overly influenced by first impressions. Don’t be duped by misleading information.

When it comes to interpreting information and making decisions, skepticism is better than credulity. Unbridled optimism can render you naive and lead to bad decisions.