Years ago, I attended a meeting in which my boss asked several of us our opinion about an impending decision he needed to make. Robust dialogue ensued. But we later discovered that he had already made the decision before asking for our input. We felt used and manipulated.
The French have a term for that—fait accompli—a thing that has already happened or been decided, before those affected hear about it, leaving them with no option but to accept it; a thing accomplished and presumably irreversible.
Fait accompli is deceptive and discourteous; it’s a form of lying.
Let’s consider it from two perspectives.
Don’t do it to others.
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- Don’t ask your family where they want to go on vacation if you’ve already solidified a trip.
- As a leader, If you’ve already made a decision, just announce it. Don’t waste people’s time by asking them to think or talk about it. If you’re 90% sure that you’re going to make a particular decision but want to get some last-minute input, be upfront about your leanings, but don’t ask for input if your mind is made up.
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Beware of when you’re being manipulated.
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- If you suspect that you’re being manipulated in this way, call it out: “Is this decision already made?”
- If you know for sure that a decision has already been made, don’t waste your brain cells thinking about it.
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The term “fait accompli” can also refer to what has already been done and cannot be changed. Synonyms would include: done deal, completed act, “it is what it is.” If this is the case, just accept reality and move on.
For instance:
John – “I can’t believe our boss is requiring us to work the next two weekends.”
Jane – “Well, there’s no point in continuing to talk about it, it’s fait accompli. Let’s just make the best of it.”
Learn to spot fait accompli and carefully respond to it.
Great essay Don. I have seen this device used many times in different situations. I had an employer who, if anyone differed in opinion to the he decision he had already made, would use it as a way of gathering “ammunition” to be used sometimes for future conversations or when he might need it.
I have gained so much wisdom from you through the years! Thanks for all you do.
Hi Ed, it’s so nice to hear from you. I have fond memories of or times together. Thanks for being my friend. Don
Lessons here that I think should be taught in schools. Not colleges – although if it didn’t happen earlier in basic education, it certainly would be useful for the future. I could have used that in my beginning years as a supervisor. Learning that and putting it to use, could have saved me a lot of grief.
Gail, I bet you were a great supervisor. You’re insightful and emotionally intelligent.
Thanks for reading my posts.
Don
Dear Don,
I like your question “Is this decision already made?” It doesn’t sound rude but it will save frustration at a later date. In my working life, one of my bosses could move ahead with a scheme without adequate consultation. On one occasion, I had to ask “When exactly were you going to tell me about this one?”
With regard to your example of John and Jane, it may be necessary to challenge the decision if it doesn’t align with the contract of employment. Some employees have their hours of work specified and may not include weekends and others may have a provision for time off in in lieu for hours over and above their contractual working week. Bullying bosses often try to tell staff they have no alternative. Like most agreements in life, check the small print.
Hi Angela, it’s always good to hear from you.
My favorite leadership mantra is “All of us are smarter than one of us.” So, I always ask my team for their thoughts. It just makes sense.
I hope you are well.
Don